“Mr. Lint Legs — Best Advice in Sticky Situation: Just Roll With It”

“Lynx” Newspaper — “Puma Press”- Paradise Valley Community College (PVCC), Phoenix, Arizona | October 2008

By Wendy Evens
Staff Writer

I love to fly. I have been flying around the globe as a flight attendant for 11 years. In all of my exciting trips I have worked I will never forget the most embarrassing encounter I had with one of my passengers on a sunny, spring like morning in April 2003.

I worked aboard, albeit, private jets for the rich and famous and this particular flight was flawless. After we landed I opened the main cabin door for my 6 male passengers to exit and descend into the black sedan car at the bottom of the stairs. This well known team of executives of a company which you and I both use their products were dressed sharply in dark business suits and discussing the final talking points of their meeting aboard the parked plane.

The CEO moved from his large, comfy leather chair at the front of the cabin to the back of the aircraft comfortably sitting on the blue fabric couch. The others were spaced around the oblong conference table. When their five minute pow-wow ended, the CEO stood up and put on his suit jacket to leave. I was standing at the rear of the aircraft and noticed that the newly reupholstered couch was now all over my lead passenger! “Oh my God, I thought…I cannot let him get off of the plane looking like that?!” How embarrassing for him….Being the anal and ever prepared crew member (depending on how one looks at it) I had lint rollers stashed everywhere. I had them in drawers, in the lavatory, in the galley cupboards (hey, you just never know!). As Mr. CEO was walking towards the door to exit I could hear my voice call out to him, “Mr. Smith, wait! You have…you have… (How do I say that he has blue lint all over the back of his legs and butt?)… You have lint from the new couch all over your suit pants!” I exclaimed as calmly as I could muster. “Here”, I offered, “Here is a lint roller to help you”.

I was feeling so proud that I was offering impeccable customer service so quickly. My pride turned to fear, however, when he started to turn in a circle like a dog chasing his tail. “I don’t see anything”… Can you get it for me?” he said. Being the ever helpful employee, I took the brush he was handing me in horror, and I glanced at my captain who was standing at the top of the stairs behind Mr. Lint Legs, observing the whole debacle and smiling as if he was laughing hysterically under his breath — this ought to be good!

Wow, the things I have to do for a pay check, I thought…this is the glamor???

I took the brush from our billionaire passenger who was in a hurry now and squatted down behind Mr. Big Shot. I held my breath pulled his pant leg taught and started rolling the round sticky brush down his right leg. After I did his left leg I thought…the inevitable is about to happen. I calmly, coolly ever so quickly started rolling the lint brush over his butt cheeks in order to have this whole entire mess over with in a matter of a few seconds. “There!” I exclaimed in a high pitched voice trying to sound as normal as possible. “You are lint free once again.” I had a hugh smile on my face as I stood up as if to say, get off NOW, this show is over! He continued to put his jacket on, turned and thanked me for being his stylist of the moment. “You’re welcome, have a nice meeting and we’ll see you this afternoon”…I had to re-focus the thoughts that I know were running through this man’s head…meeting…think MEETING! This is this last thought I wanted him to have walking down the stairs was meeting…We are here for a meeting!

A week later I was a passenger aboard an airline and was upgraded to Business Class with an empty seat beside me. I was so happy because the 6 hour flight would be much better with no stranger to deal with next to me. Besides, I was tired and I really didn’t feel like engaging in blind conversation with my seat mate. The cabin door was about the close and in comes the last passenger. He plops into the empty seat beside me. “Great!” I thought. I looked over to see who this rude, late man was and to my horror it was Mr. Smith! I quickly buried my nose in the fashion magazine I already had opened on my lap. Maybe he won’t see me, I thought. He settles into his seat and fastens his seatbelt and the safety demo starts. He looks out my window and says with much excitement, “Hey, I know you!” He leans over closer chuckling, “Excuse me, Miss, I am wondering if you have a lint brush?”


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