The Astounding Jane Hawking
The astounding Jane Hawking, was an English author and teacher. Stephen Hawking;s carer for thirty years, yet despite the pressure, she maintained her own interests.
Deadly Prognosis
The couple had been dating for only a year when Stephen was diagnosed with motor neuron disease. This would slowly break down his nervous system and paralyze him. Doctors said he would not see his 25th birthday, as he was not expected to live beyond two years.
Despite the prognosis, the couple married two years later in 1965 and embarked on the journey of a 30-year marriage. Few 21-year-olds would take on such a challenge, but Jane decided to stay beside Hawking’s side, no matter what the future held in store for them.
Three Children
The couple had three children. Not only did Jane need to deal with the usual demands of running a home and parenthood, she was also the caregiver for Hawking. From the start, their relationship was forced to take a backseat to Hawking’s academic ambitions. Even their honeymoon was at a physics conference.
Hawking refused to have anyone else help him but totally relied on Jane, for everything, from dressing, bathing, etc. Besides this, Hawking refusing to talk about his medical condition. For years, he refused the use of a wheelchair, and acted as if his illness didn’t exist. “I’d be going out with Stephen on one arm, carrying a baby in the other and toddlers running alongside. It was hopeless because the toddlers would run off and I wouldn’t be able to chase after them. That made life impossible.”
The Amazing Jane was Committed
Jane never quit but was totally to who Hawking was. “There was no alternative but to just carry on. I felt very committed to Stephen and I didn’t think he could manage without me. I wanted him to carry on doing his amazing work and wanted the children to have a stable family.”
Only those who have been a 24/7 carer can fully appreciate the enormous pressures that Jane would have been put under. Most carers continue on to the detriment of their own health.
Jane Returns to her Studies
Jane was also determined to prove she was more than a mother and wife of a man who had the same IQ as Einstein, which was 160. Around 68% of people have an IQ score between 85 to 115, with the average being 98.
Jane was an undergraduate when she met Stephen in 1962 and was determined to follow her own interests, despite her heavy responsibilities. By 1979, the amazing Jane Hawking had a PhD in medieval Spanish poetry. This allowed her an identity apart from her marriage to a famous man. It took her 12 years to complete her degree, but she felt compelled to obtain her PhD.
Following her own pathway was good for her self-esteem, but she still felt at-sea in her marriage. “The truth was, there were four partners in our marriage. Stephen and me, motor neuron disease and physics.” Overcoming the Black Dog of depression was at times part and parcel of the heavily demanding life with Stephen.
Jane Hawking’s Deep Faith
Jane was brought up in the Church of England faith, and throughout her life it was her Christian faith that kept her going. This was despite Hawking’s well-known total anti-God, atheism.
I personally can relate to this and fully comprehend the tight rope Jane had to walk, as one of my husbands was a sceptic. Yet, a deep faith is something that cannot be denied, despite the skepticism or opposition, even when life is rugged.
Marriage Dissolved
Despite all her years of devotion, Jane was forced to face the intense grief and pain of another woman in Stephen’s life. After all her years of devotion he turned to another. How many women have walked through this ‘valley of death’ and known the unforgiving depth of its agonies?
In the 1980s, while Stephen was working on A Brief History of Time, he fell in love with one of his nurses. Finally, in 1990, Jane and Stephen separated and in 1995, they divorced. In just these couple of paragraphs a gulf of anguish is covered. There are two major valleys of grief: death and unfaithfulness in a marriage. You can survive both, heal and come out the other side stronger.
Life After Tragedy
Within two years, both had remarried. Stephen married his nurse and Jane married a musician friend of her husband, widower Jonathan Hellyer Jones.
Stephen and Jane maintained a relationship following their divorce. They lived near to each other and met regularly. Jane continued to support Stephen.
Hawking eventually went through a second divorce, as he separated from nurse Elaine Mason. It was one thing to being a nurse to a famous man, but quite another to deal with him 24/7 as his wife. Yet that was something the amazing Jane Hawking had done for thirty years.
There is no doubt Stephen would have looked to Jane for comfort and support over this time. Jane said following Stephen’s second divorce, “We were able to associate freely again and enjoy many a family occasion together. It was quite like old times.”
Memoirs of The Amazing Jane Hawkins
In 1999, Jane wrote an autobiography. She said she didn’t want people coming along, 50 or a 100 years later, with their own version of her life with Stephen. Reflecting on her life with the theoretical physicist Jane said, “One of my most important jobs was telling Stephen he was not God.”
There is no doubt there would have been major clashes between Jane’s Christian faith and Stephen’s atheistic beliefs. I personally, have always had difficulty coping with Hawking’s anti-god attitude, despite the brilliance of his brain. Living with it must have been so difficult for Jane.
Professor Stephen Hawking‘s last book was completed after his sudden death at age 76, in 2018. His final words in the book are: “There is no God. No one directs the universe.” Words that Jane must have heard many times during her life with Stephen.
Seeing her memoirs made into an award-winning movie, Jane’s role in an extraordinary relationship, was fully revealed. That is not all, to date, the amazing Jane Hawkins has authored a total of five books.
Jane Hawking an Amazing Example
Why look at the lives of someone like Jane Hawking? Married to a famous man often makes the women just background noise, yet it takes enormous strength and courage to stand with a man like Stephen Hawking, or any man who stands out.
We so often forget that women like Jane were human beings who carried a load few of us would contemplate shouldering. A home to run with three children, a man with an obsession, and still a woman with her own needs.
No matter how much is revealed about Jane, never can enough be said about her courage and strength. Any woman who can display the courage Jane showed, has never had a straightforward life. Adversity was not allowed to dictate who she was and her voice sends a strong message. No matter your circumstances, you too can survive and come out the other side, a much stronger person.
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Wendy is an inspirational writer, for which she has a strong passion. She is also very passionate about her garden and family. She says life is too short to waste, so live it to the fullest.
