Tips to help you when kids refuse to cooperate
Resistance in kids who are growing up is normal, but the way you deal with it as the parents may vary and depends on your choice of parenting. For instance, most of the parents have the problem with kids not brushing the teeth or making the kids regular, this means that you could reassess the strategy to help them change the mind. Similarly, ride on cars with remote control has become the preference of the children, and if the parents cannot fulfill it, they tend to get uncooperative. The tips for reducing the uncooperative tendency may be focused on the use of force, but if one considers the negative ramifications of using force on the kids, it will become apparent that the cost outweighs the benefits. In addition, if you use force with children, they may become stubborn and the dynamics of power struggle will become a permanent part of your household.
Though it may sound hard to you, however, if you are cooperative with the child in terms of showing a calm behavior to their unreasonable wishes, they will come to realize how wrong they have been in forcing the parents to fulfill the wishes or they may become cooperative. The main idea is to show them that throwing tantrums or being at the worst behavior is not the way to get things done their way.
Understanding the Child’s Viewpoint
If you are not interested in the power struggle, it is better to encourage the cooperation of your child. For instance, if the child shows positive reaction or understanding, you can remind the children of the positive benefits he/she got with it. Similarly, if you attempt to understand the point of view of your child, it may become easy for you to empathize with the child in terms of addressing the concerns or reaching out to them to sort your differences with them.
Avoid Using Threats
If your child is not listening to what you request them to, remember that it is going to test your level of patience, it is, therefore, good to stay away from the use of threats because it could worsen the situation. This means that threats may help you get the things done, but the relationship with your child may not necessarily improve. In other words, it is best to talk to the child and to convince him/her rather than threatening them to do what they are expected to do.
Some of the parents who are struggling with uncooperative children often forget to value the advice of those experts who are against the use of force. For instance, if the kid is not doing well, you will force them to study with the help of traditional teaching methods rather than providing them with the alternative ways to approach the same subject. Likewise, the role of discussion is belittled by the parents; however, if the discussion is held on the regular basis by putting aside the difference, the complex problems can be managed if not completely resolved.
This may sound scary to you, especially if you are a parent who believes in regulating the behavior of the children, it is good to give them space to breathe or break from rules and regulations. This is not to say that rule are not of any help, however, if you force those rules, children may develop the dislike for them. And if you let the children get away without brushing the teeth or doing what they are supposed to do, they may replicate the gesture by following your rules on the other days of the week. The main purpose is to let them know how important the role of cooperation is.
Save you Relation
Of course, the significance of the discipline to raise the children cannot be ignored, but if you have the habit of choosing the rules over your relationship with the child, it may cost you more than your imaginations. This is why it is necessary that you work on building the relationship and if the relations are strong enough, you will not have to resort to the means that you and your child dread.
It is important to highlight the fact that children are not uncooperative by birth; rather it is the experiences that contribute to shaping their temperament and life choices in addition to the overall approach. This means that if you show them respect for doing the right things, it is likely to encourage them. And respect is not only important for the adults, but children also respond to it in the best way. This is why it is good to lay stress on respect in addition to showing it in your actions. The logic behind this point is that as children have the flexible nature, the good habits can be inculcated in them even if they don’t seem to respond to it because if you set a good example, they will pick on those habits.
Most of the researchers have proven that children also need to exercise freedom of choice and if parents tend to force the choices or decision on them without the consent, it is likely to backfire. This means that you need to allow your children to have their say in the decisions important to them in addition to allowing them to be them. This is not to say that unlimited freedom is their need, but freedom in a limited boundary can help to nourish them and to develop the personality of children. Moreover, it is important to find the root cause of the mood swings in the children, because if you know the cause of their uncooperative behavior; you would be in a position to fix it.
Pressure of Expectations
Some of the parents put a lot of pressure when it comes to the performance of the children. For instance, children are expected to do well in studies and all other aspects of life, which may not be easy for all the children. Furthermore, the comparison with the peers and sibling is another cause of tension or uncooperative attitude in children. In other words, if you are already doing this, it is time for you to change that and reassess the merits of your relationship with the child and build on that.