Ashes

His ashes were barely cooling when she had her first post-Jake climax. It would not be her last. 12 years of marriage, two children and a revolving door of cats and she was finally free to live her life by her own rules. It wasn’t as though she had zero lingering attachment to Jake, or the children for that matter, but the marriage had run its course. She had endured, no, that was mean, she had mostly enjoyed her marriage. Her family time. But she had always heard that nagging inner voice that told her there was more than this and that she would regret it for the rest of her life if she didn’t make something of her life.

Divorce wasn’t a good option. Jake had been the main breadwinner for the family and worked a full-time job as a corporate accountant. She on the other hand had no job and was classified as a “stay at home mom.” If she filed for divorce, she’d end up husband-less but encumbered with looking after two children, one age 7, one age 10, full time. That wouldn’t give her the break that she was looking for. Divorce would only free Jake up to finally realize his fantasy of boning his secretary, it would do very little for her own personal freedom.

No, she had to pursue more violent options. That had been why she had spiked the tea that she had made for her family that evening after work with a powerful sleeping agent. That was why she had woken up at 2am, moments before her alarm had been set to go off, almost as if she had waited for this moment all her life. She felt an excitement that she hadn’t felt since being a kid on Christmas morning as she crept downstairs with a small travel backpack she had packed the night before. She needn’t have crept, she had put her entire family to bed and they had knocked out the second their heads hit the pillows.

First she went into the living room and lit two small candles. Then she returned to the kitchen and, grabbing a tea towel, she used it to flick the oven switch to turn on the gas. There was a whooshing sound as gas began to escape and fill the kitchen. She inadvertently sucked in a breath, leaving a strange aftertaste. For a moment she considered going back on everything. Turning off the gas, snuffing out the candles and returning to her familiar familial life next to her husband and children. She was comfortable, they were “happy.” But even as she considered this, she knew she couldn’t hide from the truth any longer. She had done the wife and mother thing, it was fun while it lasted but now she wanted to do something else.

She took one last look around the empty dark house, with her family sleeping upstairs. A determined look crossed her face and she turned and left it all behind, closing the front door and disappearing into the night.

RANDOM WORDS — ashes violent inner climax attachment aftertaste