Bad Ideas I’ve Had This Year (2017)

A dating sim where you can’t get any of the girls and at the end, they all collaborate together on your Orient-Express-style murder. Despite multiple decision points in the game, this is the only ending the game has. -0% complete. Downloaded the engine, need to play with it.

A dating sim where you play the last girl the protagonist character pursues for 100% completion of the game. Only you’ve lived through and remember him pursuing and throwing away all of your friends before he’s gotten to you. -0% complete. Downloaded the engine, need to play with it.

A Roast Battle RPG in a world where insults inflict real world damage. -1% complete. Bought RPG Maker, have made the start screen and the intro. I want to put out a ten minute demo next month.

A Real Rob fan-podcast that actually turns about to be a 1940s style radio serial, but still within that frame, contains an attempt to analyze the show Real Rob. -7 episodes in, recording the season finale after the holidays.

A Harvey Birdman spec script about Dick Dastardly from Wacky Races where it turns out he lost every episode because he was betting on the other racers to win. He sues the Wacky Races Hall of Fame committee when he’s barred from being submitted as a potential inductee. -Outlined. Need to take a day and just churn it out.

A spec script for the TV show Squidbillies where the Sheriff gets an ancestry.com account and discovers the squids are related to the only descendants of the oldest family in town, the Squidwilliams’, and thus inherit their riches. Turns out it’s all a ruse created by Dan Halen, who bought ancestry.com, to collect $14.99 a month. A plan he scraps after he realizes if everyone in Doogal County with a computer buys a subscription, his profit is $98 a month. -Completely thought out. Again, just need a day with google docs by myself.

A spec script for the web series Stand-Up Guys I used to be a part of where all the Stand-Up Guys go to perform in a contest in Starkville, MS. Any one of them is a ringer to win over the comics in the local scene, but they all trip each other up with mind games and end up driving home laughing about how dumb comedy contests are. -Someday…

A comedy show where while people are performing, in the background I play Street Fighter 2 on a big screen. Every time I die, $10 goes to the charity of the night. The crux of this show is ‘I’m awful at Street Fighter 2'. -0% complete, but I convince myself I’m working on this show concept whenever I play Street Fighter 2.

Deleting all my tweets and starting over fresh. -Done.

Learning professional wrestling. -0.00000001% complete, took one class.

Joining an independent wrestling organization as a heel character in a healthy romantic relationship with himself. -May never happen, no matter how many mannerisms I think of for this character. If I’m ever lost in thought at a mic, I’m thinking about this character.

Pitching to cracked.com an article about medical conspiracy theorists in other countries around the world. -Done.

Pitching to CollegeHumor an article about a dimension-jumping dad who still has to text his son for tech support help. -Wrote it. Turns out College Humor no longer takes submissions. Am actually really proud of this one.

Investing in bitcoin THIS year. -Done. Done and Dumb.

Writing a five-minute bit exclusively about the Chili’s 2 for $20 deal. -Done.

Making mash-up music based around the soundtrack of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. -Released one track, another is 80% done.

Writing satire articles for a city I moved out of three months before. -lol did it.

Producing a weekly two-minute long youtube series from a centrist’s perspective about the collapse of the political middle covering whatever that week’s doomsday news story called “It’s Going to Be Okay” but said like someone assuring themselves of it as they breathe into a paper bag. -I still think this is a good idea for anyone else, it’s just not my style. Scrapped forever.

Continuing to pursue comedy. -Can’t stop. Won’t stop.

Opening a Medium account. -First post done. Going to try and free-write here weekly.

Happy 2017, everybody.

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