Ephemeral Romance

You one day give me kisses.
 You one day give me hugs.
 I cannot forgive myself
 For all I see that bugs.
 
 I can’t stop picking faults
 To which myself I sentence

The worst one of all
 Is I think I’m high maintenance.
 
 I one day buy you poems
 I one day write you flowers
 But the next I break down crying
 Wondering what are my powers?
 
 Some days I’m stuck too much in fiction
 Other days I’m too caught up on diction
 But for all the days together, I must confess
 I’m one and the next, altogether I’m a mess
 
 So now you see, I’ve buried myself once again
 Not knowing how to pull myself out
 I say my dark thoughts aloud,
 Making the thoughts cloud

The darkness feels more than thoughts,
 I get so caught up, confused and taught
 Not knowing, should I please me or you?

-Thinking that thought is stupid too.
 
 Oh no, I shouldn’t have said all this
 What have I done?
 I’ve just gone and made myself worse
 I just wanted fun.
 
 I can’t stop apologizing now,
 Darkness turns to panic.
 Thinking, “no no no”
 And I see you not smiling

I only have myself to blame
 For acting how I do

Buried with thoughts so lame

I thought talking helps, who knew?

I am stupid and foolish

Caught up in my self-disses
 And now seeing that all I wanted
 Were just some hugs and kisses

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