You one day give me kisses.
You one day give me hugs.
I cannot forgive myself
For all I see that bugs.
I can’t stop picking faults
To which myself I sentence
The worst one of all
Is I think I’m high maintenance.
I one day buy you poems
I one day write you flowers
But the next I break down crying
Wondering what are my powers?
Some days I’m stuck too much in fiction
Other days I’m too caught up on diction
But for all the days together, I must confess
I’m one and the next, altogether I’m a mess
So now you see, I’ve buried myself once again
Not knowing how to pull myself out
I say my dark thoughts aloud,
Making the thoughts cloud
The darkness feels more than thoughts,
I get so caught up, confused and taught
Not knowing, should I please me or you?
-Thinking that thought is stupid too.
Oh no, I shouldn’t have said all this
What have I done?
I’ve just gone and made myself worse
I just wanted fun.
I can’t stop apologizing now,
Darkness turns to panic.
Thinking, “no no no”
And I see you not smiling
I only have myself to blame
For acting how I do
Buried with thoughts so lame
I thought talking helps, who knew?
I am stupid and foolish
Caught up in my self-disses
And now seeing that all I wanted
Were just some hugs and kisses