“Mark and I didn’t agree on a lot of substantive things at that point,” Sandberg recalls. “Dave told me, ‘Don’t work any of those out. You never will.’ He said, ‘What you want from Mark is process agreement on how you will work things out. Because even if you work all the questions you have out now, they’re going to change.’”
But, giving up other people’s definition of success is incredibly liberating and ultimately leads to the fullest expression of who you are and what matters to you. It’s not a one-time thing. It’s a daily habit of comparing less and creating more.
You can, however, to some degree control your response. You have two primary options: you can choose to respond with acceptance and seek meaning and growth — or any other framing tactic that makes sense to you — or you can give in to your circumstances.