A Tribute to Chester Bennington

John Williford
Jul 21, 2017 · 5 min read

Has music shaped who you are as a person? Do the lyrics, the guitar, the drums, influence you to look at the world in a different way? Chances are, if you were going to middle/high school in the early 2000s, Chester Bennington of Linkin Park was that shaping influence.

If you stepped into a time machine, raced back to the early 2000s, and visited a small Dallas suburb named Frisco, you might stumble upon a chubby high school boy lifting iron weights in his garage. You’d probably be able to tell by watching him that he’s not one of the popular kids. He’s definitely not going to any parties. You’d probably tell them that he’s fine, and that he doesn’t have to work so hard to earn other people’s affections, but he wouldn’t listen to you.

What you’d hear walking by that garage is Chester Bennington’s voice.

The boy in the garage doesn’t have many friends, and the people that he does talk to don’t understand him- not really. Every day he presses the dusty plastic button in his garage to open that creaky door and try to become someone he thinks other people might love. He thinks, “Maybe if I’m stronger, the girls will start to like me, and those assholes at school will stop slamming lockers in my face and spilling my books all over the ground.”

The people around him probably don’t understand him because he doesn’t understand himself. He’s never known what’s worth chasing after. God? Girls? College? He’s heard from others that maybe one of those will make him happy, and fill the awkward void nestled in his ribcage. He’s just not sure how to be cool, how to fit in, how to make people like him. That’s why his hair is spiked up with hair gel- maybe that will do it.

Linkin Park’s Hybrid Theory changed the boy’s life. He may have felt awkward at school being laughed at, or lonely standing in a corner of a party drinking a beer he didn’t really want, but when One Step Closer came crackling through the speakers of his cheap boom box in that Dallas suburb, he knew exactly who he was.

Seriously does anything else look more like 2001?

The boy couldn’t control the bullying, or his grades, or the lack of any girl in his life, but he was the. man. when Linkin Park was on. The garage was his Church, and Chester was his Pastor. The lyrics coursed through his blood vessels, awakening the fibers in his muscles, and filling his brain with purpose, clarity, and rage at a world he couldn’t yet understand. The music made him feel strong, like he could do anything. Chester Bennington was the boy’s hero, and the boy worshipped him in that garage, belting out lyrics and bench pressing until his chest gave out.

Meteora followed Hybrid Theory, and Minutes to Midnight came later. With each album the boy grew older and and more mature. But then, he began to drift away from Chester and Linkin Park, getting into heavier metal and classic rock. Eventually, the boy took the confidence that he cultivated in that garage out into the world. He became a United States Marine, earned a Master’s degree, rediscovered his relationship with Christ, found the love of his life and married her. He now fights for those who feel like he used to feel.

Eventually, he got a job with a nonprofit called HeartSupport, and travels all over the country loving on people at Warped Tour and elsewhere. HeartSupport explains to everyone that each person is loved, and worth it, and understood. The man wishes there was something like it when he was younger.

Then one day at Warped Tour the man heard that Chester Bennington had taken his own life. Then, as if no time had passed at all, the man was back in that sweaty garage- a boy again. He remembered, like an echo from an era long gone, what it felt like to be clueless about who you are, clueless about how powerful you can be, and how Chester’s voice helped him smash through those insecurities. He remembered what it was like to be an awkward, goofy teenager who depended on his Alt Rock heroes to tell him who he was.

The man, no matter how far he’d come, couldn’t save Chester. The man could only stand in shock and watch everyone at Warped Tour discover the truth of how Chester met his end.

Chester, who the man had never met, shaped and molded who the man became. He taught the man to be independent, to beat his chest under the stars, to fight for the oppressed.

Because of Chester, the man knows now, at 30, that he’s somewhere he belongs.

But I’ll never get to tell Chester Bennington any of that.

Reader, know that you are loved. Know that you don’t deserve the hate that finds its way into your life. Know that there are thousands of people all over this country who want nothing more than to hug you and explain why you matter. If you or anyone you know is traveling the dark road of self-harm, suicidal thoughts, depression, substance abuse, or anything else, take a look at the resources at HeartSupport.com. Post on the forum and get to know our community. There has never been anyone like you, and there never will be again. We love you.

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John Williford

Written by

Fundraising Manager at HeartSupport and former Marine/Iraq War Veteran. Help me in the fight against mental illness- heartsupport.com

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