Why getting over someone is hard.
We’ve all been here at some point in our lives — it comes in stages.
And that is what makes denial so easy , because the truth doesn’t hit us in one blow.
First , you stumble (upon)
Then, You fall ( for / hard)
And You get stuck ( you’re confused. Do you really want to feel this way? Is it the right time? )
Then, You change: you want to gain the upper hand , you’re self conscious — you desire to feel good and look good. You want to be in control. You want him/her to be affected by you , just as you are, by them
Things go two ways: You fail to get back together OR You get together but probably fail anyway.
Either way, You try to move on — This is where denial creeps up on you.
What denial ? That you never liked him/her ? You’re pretty confident you can move on ? You’ll leave the other party pining for you?
The truth is , you’re in denial. You believe you’re going to walk out of this without a single strand of hair out of place. But sometimes, we believe only because we don’t want to face reality. We don’t wish to.
We try and we try.
Numerous “ How to ” Youtube videos that we search ( even though we expect none of them to offer great advice). Unbelievable amounts of self persuasion and pep talks. You’re either now really into EDM or sad ballads and slow songs.( Why? you haven’t got a clue) You try to rebound — New flings. New Eye Candies .
IT’S EMOTIONALLY DRAINING.
You try so hard to detach yourself. Cold. Aloof. You want to be all these. Yet you know that it doesn’t work. You still melt and you still warm up to him/her even though you shouldn’t. The turmoil you face. To be or not to be? You grasp on to that whisper of hope ; that you might have a chance to work things out after all. You know this whole situation seems pathetic. You know you deserve to be happy — but you’re the lock to your own freedom. You just wished you could have cut all ties, all emotions, all thoughts.
Some days you feel independent and on top of the world, some days they are all you can think of. As days pass, you’ll find things easier. Even though you might let yourself indulge in sadness once in a while, the void that was left behind starts to get filled up by love — from your family, friends. Other things in your life starts to take priority and you’ll feel invincible more days than less. The memory of them no longer hurts as much and you start to realise that you miss the memories more than you miss them.
You’ll learn to let go . You’ll learn to embrace the fact that it was never meant to be . You’ll stop frowning at the smiles; smiles that the thought of him/her brings to you. You’ll grin as you reminisce fondly over the memories you had.
And when you no longer feel bitter thinking about them, you’ll know you’re good to go.
|August 7th 2015 |
Cheer up buddy :)
by Chelsea H