Why changing the words I use makes a difference
Life hack: Changing the words I use.

In fact, it was as a result of a friend’s message to me a couple of weeks ago that reminded me of this one tiny hack I’ve tried before in the past, but have since forgotten.
Without realising what I have been going through, a friend sent me a message with an illustration she had seen that morning. The illustration included the message “I have a lot of excitement in my life. I used to call it tension, but I feel much better now that I call it excitement.”
And how true this statement is.
The words that are part of our self-talk are incredibly powerful. What is scary is that these words are sometimes invisible, we don’t realise that we are saying things to ourselves. The noise of our inner voice can become so ingrained that it becomes part of us, and for many these words aren’t positive. I knew that this was also happening to me, so I decided to touch base with a practice I used to do.
The first exercise I have started doing is to become really conscious of trying to hear those hidden words that aren’t being useful to me.
Then my next exercise is to consciously inject words into my self-talk, words that would make a change in my perspective.
Here is an example.
Instead of telling myself that about my anxiety, the pressure I feel, and the stress I am going through, I am re-wording it. Such as “this is all part of the adventure” or “what ever happens at least I am giving it a go” or “it’s about trial and error, it’s the only way to figure things out” or “at least I am doing it and not just wishing it” or “this is all very exciting” and also “I am extremely lucky to be able to have this experience and opportunity.”
I have been reminded many times, and perhaps in such a timely manner, the importance of our self-words and how this influences our perspective and experience.
I remember on a trip to New Zealand I was on a boat visiting the Milford Sound fjords. It was a beautiful winter day, blue sky, and the sun shining. We were cruising along the fjords, and I have to say, I wasn’t impressed. I looked, and thought, “not sure what the big deal is, it’s mountains.” On that boat I crossed paths with a guy from the US. We were looking out to the fjords, and I mentioned to him that I thought it was ok. But for him, it was something else! He lives in a city with no mountains in view nor even relatively close by, so to him this view was spectacular. I have to thank him for the very kind and much needed ‘slap in the face’. Here I am on a boat in New Zealand looking at one of the few places in the world with fjords. I represented an extremely small group of people in the entire planet who had this opportunity. On top of that, I was extremely lucky having in the last decade been living near the Alps, that I could see mountains and go to them whenever I wanted to.
His words were another experience that made me change the words I used. It helped also remind me to put myself in other people’s shoes and become grateful. Unlike most people “I GET to see things others won’t ever see.”
So although that’s a story that may not seem relevant, it actually has made a mark on how I Iive and experience things. And my present situation is a perfect example.
I am extremely lucky, I GET to experiment with an idea and see if it works. I don’t have responsibilities or strings attached that prevent me from doing what I want to. So this isn’t stress or anxiety but GRATEFULNESS and EXCITEMENT.
By changing the words I use, a different feeling develops, one that I feel is more useful.
We all use the phrase “I have to…wash the clothes, do the groceries, go exercise, etc…” But I’ve noticed that by saying this, the task feels heavy and there is a sense of not having a choice in what I am doing. I want to be more excited by the fact that I am alive and in comparison to many, what I get to do is a sign of the privileged situation I am in: the luxury of exercising, the luxury of being able to go to the supermarket and find all sorts of food on the shelves. So I changed my phrase to “I GET TO go to the supermarket… to the gym …run in the park….wash my clothes, etc…”
By doing this I feel different, excited, a sense of more value and gratefulness in doing things no matter how seemingly uninteresting it is, because you really never know what will happen. And on top of that, it feels like a choice I have made.
I get to live in a new city. I get to meet new people. I get to learn a new language. I get to be pushed outside my comforts. Because I get to do this and many more things, it is no longer scary or stressful or annoying.
Some other word and phrase changes I am working on:
- Creating excitement for the next day before I go to bed. I tell myself that “I am looking forward to ….” This helps me create one intention and reminds myself that I need to have a good night sleep so I can do what I am looking forward to do. It’s like the excitement we had as kids for our birthday or a special event.
- When it comes to decision-making, I am trying to change my phrase and make it a game by saying “let’s see what happens if I …” It takes away the pressure of expectations, and allows for play to occur in light of testing assumptions.
It would be great to hear other suggestions or personal phrase hacks you use, which you have found changes your perspective.
