The 13 Most Ridiculously-Named Winter Olympic Events

What’s a luge? And what the makes Super G so super? A very serious investigative report on all things Winter Olympics…

The Summer Olympics are normal. They’re casual. You already know how to run and play basketball and swim. You play badminton in your backyard and throw javelins at your kid sister.

So why do the Winter Olympics feel so foreign? Why are all the events stocked with ridiculous names and absurd rules no one understands? What in the world is a slalom or a luge? Isn’t ice dancing already a reality show on ABC? And what makes the Super G so gosh darn super?

I have a lot of questions, and I want some answers. Here are the 13 weirdest-named Winter Olympic events, all the way from gold to well-hey-at-least-you-got-to-march-in-the-Opening-Ceremonies…

17 Amazing New Events to Spice Up the Winter Olympics

Super G

This G… what makes it so super?

Is this event brought to you by Sesame Street, by the number seventeen, and by financial support from viewers like you?

Is “super G” what the millennials are calling the really cool kid in class that wears a hoodie and is, like…