Circle
Where do I begin …
The last 10 years of my marriage I was going in circles. It was a constant conflict, he’d get pissy or silent, and I try to figure out how or what to change to make his life easier and mood better.
Throughout this process, I kept changing and it wasn’t for me. I had been changing and overcompensating for his shortcomings that it was starting to be more difficult to change.
But how many different solutions can you try to find for the same problem. There comes a time when tunnel vision sets in and no new solutions come to light because nothing works to put his mood in a better place.
But how can I keep changing when anything I do or say doesn’t give lasting results where he won’t be nasty.
These unidentifiable conflicts that I had to face were just meaningless circles, just me circling around to find solutions where none existed.
No solution that I could think of or no change that I could make would make these circles of conflict end.
And when I realized that there was nothing I could do because nothing would change, I decided to end the marriage.
This decision was the hardest decision to make because I chose to break the circle. I chose to go for a path where I had no clue where it would lead me.
There was some comfort in the circle of conflict. But the stress heavily outweighed the comfort. And I didn’t want to have that kind of stress any longer.
