Two years ago

WhereDoIBegin
Sep 6, 2018 · 2 min read

Where do I begin …

Two years ago, I decided to end my marriage. I decided to leave what was somewhat comfortable and predictable.

In the marriage, there was some comfort: comfort in knowing the daily routine, comfort in knowing where I’d be tomorrow, comfort in knowing who I’d be with, comfort of things that were supposed to be static.

But also in the marriage there was the predictable: the same old routine of me overcompensating for someone else’s shortcomings; the same old routine of me being overworked, under appreciated, and just plain tired; the same old routine of him just doing whatever he wanted.

And while the marriage was somewhat safe, comforting, and predictable, it came with the negatives that wouldn’t go away: the stress of not making him yell or be angry for nothing, the quietness in me unless I was talked to first because anything I said was met with sarcasm and non-answers, the love that felt more like hate, the constant negativity of being with someone who just didn’t care about anything but himself.

And these things that happened just didn’t apply to me, but also to the children, so it wasn’t just me I had ended this marriage for I also ended it for them.

The less time they spend with him, the better they will be. The less time they spend around negativity, the more positive I hope they become. The less time they spend around someone who says they love you and then act like they hate you, the better they will understand what healthy vs. toxic relationships look like.

Two years ago, I finally decided what was better for me and the children.

WhereDoIBegin

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I am in the middle of major life changes, but where do I begin my narrative?