tea, parties & lions (2014)

i took my gloves off after receiving my steaming cup of rooibos tea, and i held that cup. i held it like i didn’t want it to leave. i didn’t want you to leave, but it was late and the party had died down already. i wasn’t even much of a dancer around you, i felt all my time needed to be invested in making sure i always had a drink in my hand, and that i had something i was less than enthusiastically doing. i made sure not to just stand there empty handed and looking like a lonely stooge all out of jokes. i’d see you with your friends, laughing heartily at jokes i’d deem less than intelligent and chronically mediocre. but we’re different. i love the way your eyes cringe up when you smile. if ever i saw anything as beautiful i’d probably be looking at your other eye. its a strange thing to look at. i can’t help it, i see beauty in strange things. and you’re strange, and beautiful to me.
but you’re not here with me now, and i matter as much to you as a carrot to a lion. that’s what you are, a lioness. and i’m just a meek and lonely Simba drinking tea by himself and day dreaming about forbidden fruit. the hunger i have for your attention is insatiable, and the qualities i possess to satisfy my hunger are catastrophically uninteresting, so i will starve.

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