Being a product of Indian education system — Living someone else’s dream

In this one I will talk about the experiences I had trying to be educated, while my parents spent a fortune in funding this great scam. I feel for you if you couldn’t finish school/college, you might have issues relating to this piece but look at the bright side — you can still read this. Not like my write-ups need Thesaurus to understand since the language used is more of sarcasm than English. Grammar would suck anyway. But didn’t I tell you that I got educated in India?

Sure almost all of you are have finished some form of a formal education, hence you are intrigued/talked into reading this. After all, Bhai fans never bother about Christopher Nolan movies. Pointless reference but isn’t it fun to mock that lot?

Let me run you through my thought process when it comes to the whole idea of being ‘educated’. Education is the whole process of learning how things work, some basics about how things can be spoken, written & read & what happened before we were born to understand & appreciate where we came from. Simple yet complex & deeply diversified. Now here comes Indian education system to fuck this beautiful thing called learning.

The journey towards alleged enlightenment begins with schooling. At an age of three — As soon as the fucker stops crawling & starts walking, we shall include this toddler in the program. We wear uniforms to school, signifying that regardless of the financial standing, we all are equal. The private schools* love pressing on this & the equalizing factor is the modest fee.

*We do have public educational institutes but an Indian parent would rather produce an extra kid & sell one to fund another’s education in a private institute.

Every school has a different fee structure even though we have standardized & heavily regulated boards*. Sure there ain’t no poor son of a bitch in that particular school, if you can manage to be not bankrupt & yet keep on paying the fees. Equality wins & so does capitalism.

*The education boards (CBSE, SSC, ICSE, ISIS, etc) are a bunch of supposed geniuses who decides what & how much will the kid learn. They planned & formulated a syllabus & until Apocalypse does us apart, it will never be amended. Fuck the ever changing dynamics of new discoveries & revelations; we should never doubt their methods.

The text books were the Holy books which had all the answers. Thou shalt not question the preaching of this book. If the theory of Evolution can be explained in few pages of vivid & questionable details, let Neil deGrasse have a choke on that. We care about making a point & simplifying it enough. We may use kiddo level graphics to highlight how apes get transformed to humans. In Science textbooks or shall we refer it to as crime fiction tales, where the basics of the topics are being murdered & explained as a tale.

The difficulty level increases with age & grade. So does the number of subjects/topics you have to cover. The learning (sure, let us call that) is to be done by the private tutor since the schools are a delightful place to gather & bond. They all collectively shove information up your throat & make you memorize it. Yes, you oblige. You have shoved it enough to throw up on the exam day. Too bad that you plan to live for another four to five decades & might need any of this knowledge later. But not to flip out, we have internet for that.

This sorcery goes on for many years & then the big moment arrives when schools end.

We are asked to make a life decision at 16 — An age where they trust you for nothing. You can’t drink, marry, vote, drive, buy a gun, open a bank account & even if you fucking kill somebody, they won’t put you in prison. But that’s the age when we are supposed to decide what career we want to have. The ripe age when that kid can be brainwashed, with his adult’s dream.

It gets interesting if we are talking about us browns & goosebumps educing excitement if we get to talk about our cute brown parents. They have invested in their produce & this is the delicately vulnerable moment when they need to give a slight nudge. The kid trusts them & buys their dream. I do not have an issue when it comes to obeying the adult at this point. Problem is that they lack creativity. Apart from the set five professions, they fail to see anything beyond that.

The kids shall choose one of the five, depending on how beautifully they puked the shoved data from their textbook. Off they go to the colleges, new people all around (an introvert’s nightmare) & invest few years in nothing of productive significance. Some people are smart; they conclude their journey here & then get back to the real world.

Then there are some badass people. They do not get satisfied with graduation. They want more. They are an addict. They have trust issues with their current education. They enroll for a further couple of years of this scam. After all, the arranged marriage scene will be compromised if the candidate is merely a graduate. The guys would easily be getting a crore less in dowry. Can’t afford that, can we?

Couple more years of learning something they all will learn in real life anyway. A curriculum designed with mostly repetitive shit & to make everyone wear fancy clothes for presentations*.

*A gathering of likewise sharply dressed enthusiasts for blabbering about a dumbass Powerpoint presentation. They will pour endless man hours editing this mockery of a brief shamelessly picked up from the internet & make zero real points with it.

The drama drags on to a more dramatic conclusion when the degrees are handed out with a lot of dramatic paparazzi. There can never be a better time to expose this scam. The job placement happen just a touch before this. The protected produce is exposed to the bright unforgiving realities of the nastiest bitch ever — life. Too bad the industry was saturated with the mass produced five types of professions, never to skip the questions on their quality & ability to contribute.

What a time to collect your degrees, moments before the scam & the aggressively marketed dream shatters before the produce. We welcome them all to the real world with an important life lesson — Should not have trusted anyone on face value.

Quarter of a life time & a life time’s savings wasted to learn that one thing. That is exactly how we browns roll. There is not much we can do about it, still have a lot of time in exploring opportunities. Until then we can have an awesome monotonous corporate life with more working hours & lesser expected pay grade.


Just to wind up: Yes, I was one of them, my MBA is a sad reminder of that. I feel great that I’m still part of the same crowd which I blindly followed & that most of us are suffering equally. I also know I have to finish my previous series as I left the suspense hanging. That shall be concluded soon as my Sweet is making some good progress.

PS: If you are in your late twenties & wondering why your life is so depressing, maybe you deserve all this you delusional-unimaginative-whiny-gullible bitch!

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