Sex: The talk we never have. #BecauseSanskaar

This isn’t the first time that the entire plot has been revealed by the title itself. This also could have just been a tweet. We Indians are known to brush this topic about sex under the carpet and cannot discuss anything related to it in more than 140 characters. In this one, I wish to elaborate on how neither our parents nor our schools felt the need to even make a passing reference about this topic.

Speaking of our people, it is quite ironic that we believe in marrying virgin strangers, with celebrated ‘first night’ ceremonies. The only logical explanation will be that we are adventurous fucks and so should our fucks be adventurous.

To help you relate to this topic, let me bring up some popular conversations. The ones I had, some I eavesdropped on & the ones you could have had with your adult at one point while battling your hormonal imbalance called puberty.

All of this, just to show the progression of evasion by our adults with time & age:

Cute Curious toddler: Mummy, where do babies come from?
Parent: God gifts it to married couples through its angels. Now who wants to have a chocolate!
Cute distracted toddler: Yeyy..chocolate!
Curious annoying kid: What are these sanitary napkins and why are they advertising it so much?
Parent: It’s a girl thing, that’s all you need to know. Now who wants to have some pudding!
Distracted annoying kid: Ummm..ok..I’ll have some!
Curious pimple face teenager: Why are my bed & my pants wet after I wake up?
Parent: How would I know, maybe it’s the weather. I think you will sweat a lot & since you are growing up, it gets that way. All you do the entire day is eat and sleep. Now go do your homework!
Threatened pimple face teenager: Sure. Whatevs.
Scared horny boyish man: I’m a 20 year old man, I masturbate two times a day, my friend says I will lose all my sperm at this rate & will never become a father. Can my sperm be stored for later?
Dr. Watsa: Sure kid, try to mummify the jizz, further instructions will follow later.
Shit scared horny boyish man: *vows never to touch his genitals again*
Nervous to-be-groom: I don’t know what the protocols are, haven’t done anything like this before. Should I bother with a condom? Also, I do not understand the biology of women. You think I will locate the cavity perfectly? Can you please check my size & let me know if it’s normal?
Equally virgin best man: Calm your tits & don’t gross me out! I do not want to see it, whatever it is, that is all you got. Fuck the rubber, just go with the flow. Here, have these herbs mixed with milk, you won’t go cold.
Misguided nervous to-be-groom: *goes with the flow & comes before the part of wearing a condom comes*

Not like we aren’t embarrassed enough to ask any elder/adult about the changing biological attributes of our body but most times we wouldn’t know that the questions are related to this topic. We can’t claim to be innocent, not when our true savior is around — the internet. We can however expect our adults to not misguide us & help us out in seeking out answers related to our body & the changes that happen over the years while growing up.

Discussing these natural changes of our body through puberty is something they will never bother touch upon. Speaking of touching, there is no talk to make the infant aware that there are some places which that creepy uncle shouldn’t touch.

Imagine the plight of a teenager who is embarrassed of its sexuality and has no one to discuss why he/she wants something which they regard as ‘unnatural’. I wonder when will our society come out of the closet & discuss openly about this forbidden thing called coitus.

Our adults will always be savage and will find totally justifiable reasons to behave in this manner. Good that we have internet, for the tonnes of information, the free pornos and the ‘how to rubber your wood’ kind of videos. If it wasn’t for that and Dr. Watsa, we all would have been answering out of syllabus questions on our ‘lucky nights’.


Epilogue: I did not get to discuss this topic with any one while growing up but it was something that has been building up for quite some time. If you do come across someone who touches you without your consent, even if it’s your gynecologist, or your masseur, it is your problem, report it to the police maybe. I’m not claiming to be your savior, just saying don’t be that parent who shuts its eyes on the problem ahead. Lastly, do not be that creepy uncle/aunt who discusses sex positions with a teenager, do not scar the kid.

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