Old letters to old lovers…
March 20, 2006
“I pass by the neighborhood bars with their glowing neon lights and could almost see us sitting there quietly in the corner, laughing the way we do only together. I can’t wait til you come back home and share my days and nights. Simply talking to you is no longer enough. I want more.
Sometimes I'm not sure whether you have more to give. Sometimes I think you've spent all your emotions before I've had a chance to get to it.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm a little too late. But never, in all this time, have I ever doubted that I would wait. I knew I'd wait all over again if I had to, though I'm not quite sure what it is exactly that I'm waiting for. Maybe I've already found it. Maybe I'm still waiting... waiting for
whatever else you can give of yourself.
All I know is that I can’t sleep at night with you on my mind. I feel
numb from the loneliness of being without you, kind of like how I’m feeling
now, especially at night. How can I ever be with anyone else after knowing
how it feels to be with you? I’m happy with you. More than happy, you make
me feel strong and confident with your support. Even when I’m tired and
stressed, thinking of you still makes me smile. During the day, I find
myself dreaming more often than I should. I don’t know how you do what you do to me, but I’m thankful for it and feel fortunate enough to be in love
the way I am.
You're the greatest thing to ever happen to me, and I want to be the same to
you. I want to be the one to come to when you need someone there, and the
one you think of when you're feeling stressed. I want to be your happy
thought, because you've always been mine.
I just wanted to say that I’m missing you terribly. That’s all.”
Hard to believe that almost eleven years later, I still feel the same way, although we haven’t seen each other in years. I didn’t realize that I still felt this way until I found myself smiling at the thought of him when I found a box of his old letters.