[WP] February 5, 2016

It’s the middle of summer and my AC unit has been doing a valiant job of keeping the house cool. But as the sun sets I like to give it a break from it’s labor. I also really enjoy the summer evening breeze.

I’ve been working for the last six hours, nearly uninterrupted since lunch. It was time for a break.

I saved my edits and got up from my desk, taking a moment to fully enjoy a nice full stretch.

I started to make my way towards the kitchen to grab something refreshing to drink. I knew exactly what was in the fridge and was looking forward to cracking it open.

I pass by the thermostat in the hallway and flip off the AC.

Having procured my beverage I headed to the window above the eat-in-kitchen table. It’s a small four chair arrangement where I consume most of my meals. The window is directly above it which lets in some great natural light in them morning.

I lean over the table, balancing on one foot to give the window a little tug that will slide it up from the bottom, I feel some resistance and nearly spill my drink as I quickly put my hand on the table to brace myself.

That’s strange. Having done this very motion nearly every day since the beginning summer, this was quite unusual. I quickly looked up to make sure the window hadn’t been locked somehow.

But the latch was free. I twisted it just to be sure, but it was clear of it’s latch. I put my drink down and tried again with a both hands and a bit more force.

Nothing. It wouldn’t budge.

Well, I guess I’ll have to get that taken care of tomorrow. I’ll go get some WD40 or whatever you put on stubborn windows to reduce the friction. But for tonight I’ll just count my loses and open another window.

I move out to the living room and start towards the window above the couch. It’s a large window overlooking the front yard. It split into three panes, the center one immovable, but the other two have those little levers that when turned will move open the window outward.

Feeling a bit more cautions due to my experiences with the kitchen window I double check to make sure that the locks are firmly disengaged, then I try to turn the little lever.

Nothing! What is going on here? It seems to be stuck. I try a bit harder, and then a bit harder, starting to worry I might break the lever.

I quickly move to the other side of the couch and try the the opposite window, but it’s the same thing! In a moment of bad judgment I take my growing frustration out on the lever by giving a hard turn breaking the damn thing right off.

Is someone playing a prank on me? With the lever still in my hand I briskly walk to the front door and flip the deadbolt open, I reach for the handle, give it a twist and pull.

But nothing. My hand slipped from the doorknob and I fell away from the unmoving door.

What the hell is going on here? Some strange atmospheric pressure system? This doesn’t make any sense.

I pull out my iPhone to see if there is any news of anything, and find out if there are any remedies for window and doors being oddly stuck.

As the phone unlocks I see the familiar AlienBlue Reddit app refresh itself. I’m in the habit of leaving the last used app up on my phone.

Before I hitting the home button I notice the top story with over a million comments and counting. It reads:

“Help, my door is stuck, any tips to get it open?”

Wow, that’s quite apropos, I think to myself tapping into it, hoping to find some quick tips on getting out of my house turned prison.

Unfortunately a quick scan through the comments starts to give me a sinking feeling. It’s just comment after comment of people in the same predicament. A lot of them had already tried all the standard solutions, including trying to break through windows. All to no avail.

My hear starts to race.