Twas The Night Before Long June

Folks, tomorrow’s the beginning of Memorial Day Weekend and I’m going up to the lake to swing in a hammock and uncomfortably swim through seaweed patches while looking out for dock spiders. With the three day weekend kicking off, tomorrow signals the start of Long June, everyone’s favorite time of the summer.

What is Long June?

My friend, what isn’t Long June? Long June is brats on the grill, Long June is drinking beers in the damn sunlight for once, Long June is accidentally melting your sandals by the fire pit. Long June is a state of mind, man. But most importantly, Long June is a recent temporal invention, consisting of those dog days starting Mem Day Weekend and ending after the Fourth of July weekend. That’s Long June, baby.

Invented by The Great Debates podcast, some have said that summer’s greatest memories are made during Long June, a chunk of heaven that transcends any single holiday. Christmas? Inferior. Halloween? Throw it in the trash. Fourth of July? Annexed, motherfucker!

For my Long June, I’m gonna hit the disc golf links, grill local weiners a couple times a week and start walking to work more. Hell, maybe I’ll launch some model rockets and go to a beer festival or two. I can do it all in my Long June!

In these trying times of body slams and Paul Ryan’s general existence, we need something pure and euphoric to embrace and never let go. I invite everyone to welcome Long June into your lives and go wild for these next six-ish weeks. Run through a sprinkler on your way to work, roll around in a mud pit with a dog, load a canoe up with a dangerous amount of six packs, for chrissakes. It’s Long June, my friend, get out there!!

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