Jonathan Carroll

I am devastated because not very long ago ,I found the perfect person for me in too many ways to properly described in words alone. Not only were we obsessed with the same singer,we loved the same offbeat movies, and had almost the exact same way of thinking about things .One would often say just what the other was going to say , or come up with the same idea at the same time ,and we both suffer from different forms of mental illness , which not only made it easier to understand each other and our struggles , but when we were together , neither one of us ever felt any symptoms or anything , just peace and comfort .Technically we were just best friends , though we both admitted to loving the other , but that’s when the trouble started that caused me to have most likely lost him for good .I have a lot of trouble dealing with emotion and I also have very bad self esteem issues and self destructive behavior problems .So, I did what I promised myself I wouldn’t do this time ,and did and said things to push him away from me and even though he wasn’t totally innocent in the whole process of us growing apart, I was the main culprit for ruining the best relationship I had ever found with anyone ,and I don’t think it is possible to salvage it at this point ,and I feel like I truly lost a piece of myself .

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