Wilma de Soto
Jul 27, 2017 · 5 min read

“Wrong. You THINK society does not. More than probably, you meet plenty of people every day who consider you an individual as opposed to the member of some default Group status.”

  • With all due respect, this is not something in my head devoid of reality. It is my life and I know my life’s experiences better than anyone. I also know other people like who have similar if not the same life experiences to know that this is not just a belief I have.

“ Rather it is you who choose not to see what happens to people like me.”

“How do you know that? How do you know what I chose to see or not see?”

  • Your words. You stated above that my reality is not a reality. It is something all in my mind; an erroneous belief as it were of my own creation.

“ The operative word is “past.” They are past for you, but not past for me. They are present and ongoing.”

“I’m sorry, but I’m not buying the fact that you’re oppressed every day of your life because your an ethnic minority.”

  • Again refer to your statement quoted above. The fact that you “are not buying it”, does not negate the facts of my life experiences.

“ Here’s an assumption you have made that I and others like me do not work.”

“I made no such assumption. If I wanted to indicate the idea that I thought you didn’t work hard, I would have said, ‘The problem is that you don’t work hard.’ By ‘work hard,’ I mean that EVERYONE should work hard.”

  • No sir. You made it very clear that you meant that minorities should work hard if they want equity. Of course, your statement can be applied in the general sense to all people, but in this instance it was not. It is also a statement I have heard many times before whenever I have expressed the realities of my life to people who are not similarly affected.

“ I am my family have achieved many prominent positions in this country.”

“Then when are you still claiming that you’re oppressed?”

“That is why I can state unequivocally that ultimately it does not matter.”

“But it DOES matter, since you and your family have achieved prominent positions in this country. You have EMPIRICAL EVIDENCE that it matters.”

  • Therefore, I am deliberately causing myself pain by stating the fact that no matter what I do or achieve, I can never escape the group category. The higher one goes, the more people will try to prove one does not belong in that echelon.
  • There is no benefit whatsoever in doing this. It happens to be true. Not just for me, but others who have achieved prominence. People are threatened by that, especially when they feel they deserve it before any of us do.

“It would still give me pause as to where I can live, )not just whether I could afford it or not), where I can stay while traveling, where I shop, where and how I drive safely as an individual. If I wish to continue surviving, this had better be first and foremost in my mind.”

“What would give you pause? The fact that you’re a minority and you think that people in a certain places won’t like you?”

  • It’s not a matter of being liked. It’s a matter of safety and fair treatment. Surely you must know there are still “Sundown Towns” in America. A routine traffic stop can result in death for people like me. This has nothing to with people liking me personally, and it should not. I should just be considered a customer, a homebuyer, a driver who made an error, etc. and not a threat.

“ Just that I happen to belong to a certain group of people and no matter how hard I work or what I accomplish will never be seen as an individual worthy of respect and equity by the majority culture.”

“This is patently false, and quite frankly, you need to stop whining. It sounds like you’re doing pretty damn well. Somewhere out in America right now a guy with three kids and a wife just got laid off from his manufacturing job. That guy is scared to death of being completely automated out of existence within the next five years. Be thankful for what you have. It’s like, do I have to send you an apology letter for slavery or something? Would that do the trick? Do I have make some kind of apology to you from the entire white race? Get over it and enjoy what you have, dude.”

  • Sorry, but this is not false. I happen to know people like the guy you described above. When I suggest they upgrade their skills in order to get a better job, such as take out student loans, go to school, get training, work during the day, and go to school at night, (all things I did and I make no apologies about it), many of them would rather whine about how there are no manufacturing jobs left, or if there are some minority stole what was theirs.
  • There are SO many jobs that go wanting because people do not want to upgrade their skills. They want the same thing their fathers and grandfathers had in the 21st century. They lament the fact this era has passed. My husband is an executive in recruitment advertising, and I hear him complain about this all the time.
  • Even something as mundane as valet parking. A valet must be able to drive any car that is to be parked. So many Americans cannot drive a standard transmission, so most parking facilities hire immigrants because they know how to drive both standard and automatic cars, while Americans cannot understand WHY they should have to know that.

“And guess what: if I waltzed into the local country club right now, they probably wouldn’t like me either. Trust me on that.”

  • As I said before it is not a matter of like or dislike; it’s a matter of safety and fair treatment.

“You know, we’re not perfect in western culture. But we’re the best game going in terms of individual liberties and tolerance. People forget that. People don’t realize how large parts of this planet are about three hundred years behind us in terms of racial accord. Maybe you should think about that, and consider the incredible strides we HAVE made.”

  • I know Western culture is not perfect. At one time I would have agreed with you about your assertion that, “we’re the best game going in terms of individual liberties and tolerance.” Frankly, I am not all that sure about that now. I was traveling in Europe last year and there was a huge difference, even though I know they have their issues as well.
  • I do not fault the progress made in this country, but remember it has always come in concert with a regressive step. The period we are in now is one of those. I only hope to survive it when the pendulum swings again towards progress. I wish that for ALL Americans.