Get Out Of Your Way
Chapter 2.5 T.Phangan
Damn it! I came here to relax and recharge, but stopping the internal surgery was impossible.
The fear of meeting myself and feeling so good was haunting me.
Yes, I was scared because I felt so good and peaceful inside. In my past, I didn’t know what that was, and everything you don’t know is inherently dangerous uncertainty.
But…
Who is it — who is afraid and what does it know?
a personality created by someone’s script?
a mind limited by non-natural knowledge?
when someone else’s “need” became my “I want”?
When I recall the fleeting moments of my childhood, I see freedom in not belonging to the big world. This freedom is simple and natural. There is no fear of the new, not even fear of death.
There are dreams, there is imagination, there is vivid life.
There is the power of creation.
The only fear is the fear of parents, and here the transmission of past experience of forgetting begins. Then you overlay your own, social, cultural, and so on. The product – the personality you’ve become.
A cog in the system, and if your usefulness is practically unproven, it will leave you on its sidelines.
From being sighted, you go blind and lost, constantly missing the turn. In this wandering, only the bare of your heart will show the way. Your inner luminosity.
Vision will return again, and although the body is already weathered by time, with the eyes of a child, you will look admiringly at this world and remember everything you forgot.
I watched what this personality does, what motives drive it. Even in the smallest maneuvers. It wasn’t to expose, but to see myself clearly.
Well, I saw and exclaimed inside myself from the unexpected realization. Like a parasite, something lives in my system. Raised on a sense of fear, it manipulates this body and spins the same record of thoughts in the head.
If I had seen this a couple of years ago, I would have tormented myself with a sense of guilt, but now there is no judge.
It’s enough to direct the clarity of free attention, and everything will digest itself. That’s how it is, a metabolic system knows what, when and where without your intervention.
Get out of your way and allow life to swallow you whole.
It will break you down and direct you further along the channels of life, and what is not true will be discarded with relief.
Yes, Phangan. We’ve delved deep.
Let’s just enjoy the sunset.
Let the rest just be.
Let Wonderland make one of the wonders.
