I’m a guy. I’ve used tinder casually, matched girls, talked to them, and even met some of them in person, but it wasn’t easy. It’s difficult to match girls who are not bots, and when you do match them, they will rarely message you first, but that’s not the issue. The issue is after messaging them first, they often never message back. If they ever do message back, her replies are short, and the conversation doesn’t last long. Then you’re back to swiping again to find the next person to talk to. It’s a very dull and slow process, but we push ourselves through with it anyways in hope we actually do find someone that is decently attractive, interesting, and willing to stick around for more than a day.
So why is Tinder dating so damn awful? I’ve read articles in which they blame the guy, you have to say this, or don’t message them this, be interesting, have a dog in your profile, blah blah blah. Even if you do follow all those tips it doesn’t make a significant difference, you still don’t match that often, get a reply back, or have an engaging conversation.
So what gives? Well I decided to use Tinder as a girl to see what it looks like from her perspective. Unfortunately I never planned to write an article about what I was doing, but I was so surprised by the results that I convinced myself that I should let everyone know especially other guys, the reality of why Tinder may not be working out for them, and it’s probably not even their fault.
To create the profile I went and randomly found a mutual friend on Instagram I didn’t know and used her pictures in my experiment. She was fairly attractive, but not like a model. Just an average cute girl. The pictures I used were not anything overly seductive, no half naked pictures. I was not trying to rig the system to get the most amount of matches, I wanted something accurate, and real. No, I did not ask for her permission, even though I should of. I apologize. But I did change her name for the fake Tinder profile, if that helps at all.
So, if you’re wondering I only put up a very simple profile description that said. “Hi my name is — — and I’m not here for hookups.” Kind of a boring profile isn’t it? I mean she’s attractive, but she barely bothered to describe what kind of a person she is, or what her hobbies were, or what her life goals were. I doubt she will match many guys let alone get any messages from them… If you’re a guy reading this you already know we are in for a big surprise.
Ta da! Oh yeah did I mention that I only had created the account approximately 36 hours ago? Now I do admit when I used this app I had completely used all my likes in two separate sessions. I looked it up and it seems you get 100 free likes every 12 hours, so I had liked 200 profiles in total, and I matched with 140 guys. That’s a 70% match rate, god damn. I had expected more like a 30–50% match rate, so I was extremely surprised. Now the number may not be too surprising because guys tend to swipe right for just about anything, so the real question is how many ended up messaging her first? She has a boring profile, so I doubt she will receive many messages.. Well out of the 140 matches she got, 91 GUYS HAD MESSAGED HER!!! (65% of the guys messaged her first!) (The picture only shows 88 new messages because some of them were read). These numbers had broke all the expectations I had. I remember staring at my phone after swiping right 100 times and getting a bunch of matches, and within less than a minute messages started to pop up one after another after another. It was something only girls had experienced before.
So while you may think your profile is lacking something, or that you’re ugly, or that your messages are boring, and you feel your self esteem dropping each day that goes by because no girl responds to your message. I hope this article shows you the real reason why she didn’t respond, kept her messages short, or didn’t bother engaging in conversation with you for more than a day. She is completely saturated with messages, and it takes little to no effort on her part to match up with a new guy, and have him message her within minutes. The game is completely unbalanced. She has the power to be picky, she has the power to ignore hundreds of messages. I also don’t blame them either. I would do the same if I were matching 50+ girls daily and 30+ of them messaged me first, had long responses, responded quickly, and kept active in conversation.
I hope this story might explain why your Tinder game is weak even though you are making all the correct moves. I don’t think this is a healthy app for any guy to be using, you deserve better than that, you are seriously better off randomly going up to a random girl speaking in an incoherent robotic voice, tripping on a banana, forgetting to put on your pants, passing out, waking up, and randomly handing her your phone number on a piece of paper, and running away screaming, then wasting your time swiping. I know one thing is for sure, I am never using Tinder again.
