Reflections on my first article
A few weeks ago, I wrote my first ever article. The article was on the topic of men’s violence against women in response to a horrific murder in my city. The article juxtaposed my experiences with the experiences women in my life have shared with me.
The first ever comment on my article was:
“Yeah yeah white men are to blame for everything and are never fearful or attacked and walk around as a protected species….”
The comment was not satirical.
On my social media page, the comments were a lot more positive… Except they were all from women. My article was “widely” shared… 6 times… 83% by women. The likes also flowed in — my most liked post since my sister’s graduation — 50 likes, a nice round number. The ratios of Men’s likes to Women’s likes were also round numbers, 20–30.
Those conversations demonstrated that some men get it. Not only do they get it, but they’re angry.
Men’s violence is a Men’s problem and yet (in my social network) only women were willing to comment, and mostly women were willing to share. In person, everyone had great things to say and I had 3 great conversations with 3 good male friends on the issue. Those conversations demonstrated that some men get it. Not only do they get it, but they’re angry. Angry that a whole demographic of our society is made to feel fearful. Is made to feel lesser. Is made to feel anything less than valued and safe.
“So why aren’t they sharing?” I quizzed one of my male friends. He said,
“I hadn’t even considered sharing it. Just thought it was a great article.”
From here there are two trains of thought. Do men not use social media or are men not being proactive with the fight for equity?
My experience indicates that it is the later. We are happy to have a conversation but when the chips are down, what are we actually doing? We don’t need to fight. It is the feminists that are going to change society and we are going to support them. Not by actually doing anything mind, but by just going about our regular lives trying not to be bad people.
Unfortunately, that’s not really good enough. While my social circles are pretty great, there are still a large number of misogynists out there. The USA even elected one as President. It is the current year.
To win this fight we must not slip up or be lazy. We must not let a misogynistic joke pass unchallenged. We must not forgive questionable behaviour because “they’re a good bloke.” We must be vigilant, and we must drag the standard we set for ourselves, as Men, kicking and screaming to an acceptable level. Because the first response to my article should not have been some instinctive vitriol about the plights of the white man. Because women deserve better than that.
So, Men.
Get angry.
Get active.
We wil raise the standard.
Together.
