The College Football Final Four Rankings — Ultimate Edition

1. Clemson: The Tigers continue to fill in the correct test bubbles with their Number 2 pencils; the latest being the 45–37 ACC Championship game victory over North Carolina. That should allow them to proceed to the first line-item in the math section — maintaining their top seed position in the playoff rankings. As the only undefeated team left at the FBS level, and with a resume including wins over the likes of Notre Dame and Florida State, Clemson’s status should remain unchanged. The Tigers may even have the opportunity to return to the site of their last football national championship. The 1981 squad culminated its perfect season with a 22–15 Orange Bowl victory over Nebraska.

2. Alabama: If Minnesota is to be recognized as the State of Hockey, then there’s no reason for Alabama not to be similarly designated as the State of Football. For the seventh-straight year, a team from the Heart of Dixie has earned a spot in either the BCS title game or the College Football Playoff. It’s been UA for five of those seasons, and the Tide appears likely to be the only repeat member from 2014’s original Final Four lineup. Their commanding 29–15 win over Florida in the SEC Championship game ought to keep the Crimson Tide atop the one-loss fraternity.

3. Oklahoma: The Sooners had the unique opportunity to sit at party headquarters in Norman as a Championship Saturday spectator. With its campaigning over a week earlier, OU was able to gather around the election map and await the late returns from the swing states of Georgia, Indiana and North Carolina. As the favorites held their ground in the Atlanta and Charlotte precincts, and an upstart flipped the vote in Indianapolis, Oklahoma remained crimson red as the blue mood from its week five loss to Texas faded from electoral memory.

4. Michigan State: With apologies to the estate of Carnac the Magnificent — <sealed envelope to turban> “A Garo Yepremian ‘lateral’…a Pete Townshend windmill…and The Force…” <envelope rip> “What three phenomena put Michigan State into the Final Four?” Michigan punter Blake O’Neill provided the ‘lateral’, channeling Miami Dolphin kicker Garo the Great’s sideways fumble/pass in Super Bowl VII to gift-wrap the Spartans last-second win over the Wolverines. Sparty kicker Michael Geiger passed The Who audition after celebrating his Buckeye-beating 41-yard field goal with a bonus 41-yard running windmill. And not even Obi-Wan Kenobi himself could have used The Force any more effectively than true freshman RB LJ Scott did to extend the ball over the end line after his one-yard rush through a stout Iowa defense, capping MSU’s 16–13 Big Ten Championship victory.