World Enthralled by Awesome New Star Wars Episode VIII Trailer While Trump Quietly Dissolves the United States, Sells off Texas.

W.E. Linde

Hordes of Star Wars Fans watched with unconstrained glee as the highly anticipated Star Wars Episode VIII The Last Jedi trailer was released Friday morning. The masterful 2-minute glimpse at the upcoming latest release in the legendary franchise was so powerful that most were completely unaware that President Trump used the cover provided by the distraction to sign an executive order effectively dissolving the Union.

In the trailer for The Last Jedi, the title of which caused no small amount of breathless debate about the ominous foreshadowing, we again see the powerful heroine Rey, cast amid images of her struggle to understand her role as a Jedi. Luke Skywalker is set in the background, guiding her to “reach out” and describe what she sees. It’s the perfect setup to push this new trilogy to a climax.

Also, as part of the executive order dismantling our nearly 241-year old nation, Texas will be auctioned off to either Mexico or China.

In her vision, a poignant image of General Leia Organa, the character immortalized by the late Carrie Fischer, represents the Light, while the enraged Kylo Ren, of course, represents the darkness.

Florida, where the seat of government will soon be moved to, might be a great place to watch this movie.

The Last Jedi is scheduled for release Dec 15, 2017, approximately two weeks after the new state of the People’s Democratic Republic of Mar-a-Lago is expected to ratify the constitution of President-for-Life Trump.

See you there!

W.E. Linde

Written by

Business consultant and former military intelligence officer. Amateur historian. Insufferably moderate. Strives to be a satirist, but probably just sarcastic.

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