Salt Lake City to Bonneville (I sped of course!)

William 'Bahia' Bay
4 min readDec 20, 2018

This is #3 in a 4-Parter. Click here for Yesterday’s.

I was out to attempt the ground speed record for “Nissan Xterras with a big ass paddleboard affixed to the roof-rack”. I’m fairly certain there’s a class for that.
I also feel it’s important to remind you, dear reader, that I still have not used the paddleboard on my trip. It’s really been nothing more than a conversation starter, and a MPG reducer.

Steve McQueen was getting pretty excited to break some land speed records at Bonneville.

So I gunned out of SLC after a big hug from Em. I was determined to get to the Flats with some good light left in the day, so I wasn’t planning on doddling much.
But I did find this cool rock called Black Rock, that Em mentioned she boulders at. It was beautiful and mournfully quiet there. The snowstorm whitewashed the whole area.
There are views to Antelope Island, which is false advertising. It’s not an island, and there’s mostly bison on it.

From there, it was a straight shot to Bonneville. However when I got there, the Salt Flats were completely submerged underwater! Maybe I was going to get to use my paddleboard after all.

Unfortunately for Steve McQueen… there would be no ground speed record attempt this day. :(

However, with Bonneville underwater, it became a dream! It was a lake! Ankle deep! With mountains on either side, and a subtle drama of the most delicate colors unfolding before my eyes.

What are you looking at?! It’s just a gladiator battle in sub-freezing temperatures in the middle of nowhere.

I met some interesting characters out there too. A Youtube celebrity couple were out there filming a skit, skimpily dressed as gladiators. Then they took some guns out to do product photography, a huge dog showed up and started chasing a drone they were flying. I… Still don’t know what was happening. [insert confused emoji]

I took off my shoes, and walked out into the water.
Dumb move… Salt water freezes much colder than fresh water, and slush was already forming.
It wasn’t until I was out, and nursing my sore and stinging, red feet, than I remembered I had my surf booties in the truck. [insert facepalm emoji]

Even though gray clouds covered the Flats, the light kept getting better and better. And then all of a sudden, the sun dropped below the clouds and glory was unleashed. [insert OMG Is this even real??? emoji]

Enjoy! Tomorrow’s post, will be the last leg of the trip. [insert trumpet flourish emoji]

Black Rock, with Antelope Island in the background.
That silo is the Garfield Smelter Stack and is 413 feet high. But the rock looks bigger, because MAGIC!
Welcome to the Bonneville Salt Flats. This guy was watering his lawn, and forgot about it. Then flooded the Salt Flats.
Not sure how this fight broke out. But I suspect the husband said “Gladiators don’t wear UGGs silly woman!”
Is there a term for female Gladiators? Gladiatress? Gladiatrix? Ben Her? Well, she just Ben Her’d him!
This is when things got a little… weird.
No doggy. Don’t drink the salt water.
Good doggy.

Originally published at William Bay.

--

--