Five Years of Zombies, Run!
Adrian Hon

I was given the app as a Christmas present a couple years ago and first used it the following New Year’s Day at about 0700 running on the wooded trails of Point Defiance Park in Tacoma, Washington State in the USA. Needless to say, given the date and the time, I had the place to myself. I have never logged a faster 5 miles than I did that morning. When I returned home and was recounting my run to my husband (who somehow listens to podcasts when he runs) I said, “I’m such an idiot. I had to keep telling myself that zombies don’t run fast so that I could focus on where I was putting my feet rather than looking over my shoulder.” His response: “You’re an idiot because there’s no such thing as zombies.”

A few days later after a few more missions, I was running in the sprawling wooded neighborhood that we had just moved into. When the bowel urge hit, I knew I wouldn’t make it back to the house, and I didn’t know anyone to request a use of a toilet. So I ducked into a wooded area behind some blackberry bushes to do my business. Due to the urgency of my needs, I neglected to pause the program. Yeah. The zombie proximity warning sounded as I was balancing in a squat. I started, peed on my shoe, and fell backwards into my newly deposited poop.

That’s how well your little program has enabled me to suspend my disbelief.

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