Dad’s, dont give up…
Even if the road is long.
I’m not a writer, by any stretch of the imagination. I write (like so many do) out of necessity to keep my sanity. Perhaps it’s a way for me to deal with the stresses of my current situation.
I’m happily married, with an 8 month old, and a 4 year old from a failed relationship. My son, is an amazing human being. Regrettably, his mother and I don’t get along. We have different parenting styles, different religious beliefs, I could go on on, but I won’t. It has been tremendously difficult to form a relationship between my son and I, due to the “other side" fighting so hard to “dispatch" me from his life…altogether.
Having been involved in the court process for the last 2 years, I’d like to share some information that many men may not open up about. There is zero equality in the eyes of the court when it involves children. Mothers have a tremendous advantage over their counterpart. And this is more frustrating, than you can ever imagine.
Fathers, you are not alone. Fight the good fight. Its ok to have feelings of self-doubt, uselessness, anger, any type of negative thoughts, it’s all normal. There are days, that I have all of these thoughts, sometimes all at once, and nothing, almost nothing will make them go away…except when I see that twinkle in my child’s eye. Almost as if they are saying, “Dad, I know you’re fighting, I know it’s hard, please dont give up. I’m worth it”.
These are the moments, that get me back on track and stay the course. However arduous it may be. It’s in those moments, that I live. It’s those feelings of extreme love and devotion to something that is bigger than me, that continue to fight, even when I feel that all hope is lost.
Dads, it’s ok to feel frightened. It’s ok, to let your guard down. It’s ok, to mess up. You’re not alone. And you’re going to get through it all, and your child will love you for it. At least I’m hoping so…