It’s Not Just About George Floyd. . .
I smile every time I look at this picture of my family. It was taken 20 years ago. That picture shows two physicians — Dr. Anastasia Williams and Dr. Sanford J.S. Williams, two attorneys- Kiara Imani Williams, Esq. and me, bracketing a phenomenal singer/songwriter/activist/entrepreneur, Nia C.C. Williams, a rising 4th year undergraduate student at the University of Virginia. (check out her song about the protests — Home: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZbowOfJxzM). I think about the hard work it takes to raise children, how lucky I am that they all have compassion and faith, and the hopes and dreams Anastasia and I had for our family.
A lot has changed since then, UVA won its first National Basketball Championship (we are a family of Cavaliers, I had to mention it), we have had our first Black President, I have a daughter in law with a great family whom I love, Anastasia and I have now been married for over 31 years, and my family has been able to pursue “the American Dream.”
And a lot has remained the same, I still love God and every person in that picture with every fiber of my being. Inequality, unjustifiable violence against Black people, exclusion and systemic racism still exist.
I can’t breathe. I am angry. My wife is angry. My family and many of my close friends are angry. And we have been angry for over a week. Our patience left with George Floyd’s last breath. And its not just about George Floyd. George Floyd’s murder is horrific. It is brutal, it is visceral, and it is disgusting. He should not be dead. But it’s not just about him, it’s about Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, Tamir Rice and Sandra Bland. It’s about Rosa Parks and Fannie Lou Hamer and Emmett Till. It’s about my son being searched for drugs at a football game as a 7th grader, while his white friends were not. It’s about the everyday slights and biases. It’s about the disproportionate impact of a pandemic. It’s about Amy Cooper and getting harassed at Central Park and Starbucks. It’s about 8/12 and Charlottesville. It’s about health disparities. It’s about a dearth of Black Professors, teachers, politicians. doctors and lawyers. It’s about discrimination against our Latinx brothers and sisters. It’s about a Constitution that stated Blacks should be counted as 3/5ths of a person, and broken promises about life, liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. It’s about kneeling during the anthem and being called an SOB (it’s not about the flag, it’s about justice). It’s about me using my kids as protection and not going to the grocery store without them, because I knew I likely would not be bothered or followed if I had my kids with me (I did this for years). It’s about a lack of respect for our credentials, our accomplishments, and our humanity.
So, what to do.
I am going to just write this freestyle and see where it goes. Many friends and colleagues have reached out to me and asked what they can do and how can we address these issues. I don’t have all the answers. Heck, I may not have any of the answers. But here are some thoughts which I hope help.
Listen. I have noticed that many people think they are an authority on schools and teaching because they have attended one. As we have found out during the pandemic, teaching is not as easy as it seems. Teachers have talked about how hard their jobs are, but many failed to listen. I hear them. Now many parents and others hear them too. And please hear Black people when they describe their challenges. Too often Black stories about inequality are decried, ignored, misunderstood, or met with tone deafness (e.g., kneeling for the National Anthem). Recognize that the Black experience is not monolithic. Just like there is no one White leader or White experience, there is no one Black leader and the Black experience is varied. It’s OK if you don’t know what to say. Just let people know you are there for them. Send a text or an email. Some Black people may be just fine. And that is their experience. Most of us are not fine. And many other people are not fine. Look at the worldwide protests. Floyd’s murder was jarring, because this time, it was Televised.
Self-Care. I mentioned anger above. A lot of people are angry. I saw a quote this week: “Anger is a legitimate response to social injustice, and it is psychologically healthy.” Mental Health is very important, and I urge people to make sure they protect their mental health and wellbeing, and find a constructive outlet. Vent to family and friends. Attend a protest. Workout. Meditate. Pray. Do Yoga. Share your thoughts on social media. And do not feel that you must educate the world and every person in your life about how you feel.
Education. You can’t move forward if you don’t know your past. Many people don’t know American history and truly comprehend that there is a nexus between slavery and what is going on today. You cannot build a nation on the concept that Black skin makes one inferior and less than human, have a civil war to maintain slavery, and progress from lynching (check out Without Sanctuary, it is not suitable for children, and its pricy, but it’s a jarring pictorial about lynching) to segregation to redlining, disparate medical treatment (no matter how much money you have), and a dearth of economic resources and internet access, and state that everything is equal for all races. Learn about where we have been as a nation and where we are now. Talk to friends of other races. Talk to people of all ages. And talk to Children.
Children. Children are not born hating or with unconscious bias. Those traits are learned. Lots of children are disturbed and confused. The pandemic has already increased anxiety in children and recent events have exacerbated them. Talk to your children openly and honestly about what’s going on. Expose them to diverse books and media so they can learn about other cultures. And speak to them about discrimination and its history.
Black History. Dr. King said the ultimate measure of a person is not where they stand in moments of comfort and convenience, but where they stand at times of challenge and controversy. I am going to quote him a couple of more times because he was all that. But, he is NOT the only great figure in African American history. And, he was not liked by the majority of Americans when he was alive. Plus his nonviolence was met with a violent death. So while we recognize his greatness now, he was not always revered. Learn also about Maya Angelou, Benjamin Banneker, Shirley Chisolm, Frederick Douglas, Colin Powell, Nat Turner, Harriet Tubman, Dorothy Dandridge, Alvin Ailey, Ralph Ellison, Toni Morrison, Kenneth and Mamie Clark, and Misty Copeland to name a few. And a random shoutout to companies like Peloton (I see your Jess Sims, Tunde, Rebecca Kennedy, Leanne, Jenn Sherman, Ally Love, Robin, Kristin McGee and many others), Ben & Jerry’s and NFL players, including Saquon Barkley, who are learning and educating and using their voices to address these issues.
Diversity. Diversity is nice. We have always been a diverse nation. We don’t just need diversity. We need equity and inclusion. Don’t just have a cookout. Invite us to the cookout, have space at the table, and let us bring our own food to share. And if you are sincere, we will invite you to our cookout.
Police. I don’t know why I have to say this, but no Black person I know, and some of my best friends are Black, thinks that all police are bad. In fact, guess what. Many of us, including me, have or have had officers in their families. You really think we hate our own families. In fact, I know a number of officers, including some where I live (and work in the local school system) whom I would trust with my life. No doubts. However, there is a problem with police and the Black Community. I also greatly fear being pulled over each and every time I see a police car. And I fear for my son, my daughters, my cousins and my friends. That is my reality. I have heard people say there have been more Whites then Blacks killed by the Police since 2015. I looked it up, 2,385 whites versus 1,252 Blacks. The rest of the story is that proportionately it means that approximately 12 Whites are killed per million Whites, and 30 Blacks are killed per million Blacks (Hispanics were killed at a rate of 22 per million). This is a huge, quantifiable, and disparate difference. And it’s not just shootings that are an issue. Crime is highly correlated with socio-economic status, but some want to conflate it with race. And its not just law enforcement, its reflective of systemic racism in society. There are tons of studies about the disparate and unequal racial treatment in the criminal justice system and our Bail process. These issues need to be addressed.
Implicit/Unconscious & Conscious Bias. It’s all a thing. I am not your clown. Don’t expect me to act as such. I like having fun at the time of my choosing. In contrast, my wife and all of my children LOVE to laugh. It doesn’t mean they aren’t brilliant and accomplished and able to take care of business. Bias is something we all have. Speak up when people say things that are blatantly racist and sexist. We can do this at any age. And we need to do more of it. I can write all day about the perceptions people have of all people and its harmful and deleterious to our society. Its especially pernicious for people of color and for women. Why do we have so few women in so few leadership positions? That’s not cool but that’s another story.
WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER. Dr. King said “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.” Staying compartmentalized in Echo Chambers will not help, nor burying your head in the sand. We will either thrive together or keep flailing and repeat the same cycle of injustice, destruction and anger. As an African proverb states “The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.” And please don’t @ me with tales of looting or rioting. The VAST and overwhelming majority of protests were peaceful (see the Lean on Me singalong at a DC protest).
CHRISTIANS/PEOPLE OF FAITH. This is solely my personal thought. I believe that for too many Christians, The Cross is synonymous with the Flag. It should not be. I thank the many courageous people of Faith, and those who do not have Faith, who are fighting for justice and equality. And for others of you, your silence is deafening.
HEART. At the end of the day, this is a heart issue.
You can’t legislate thought; you can’t legislate compassion; and you can’t legislate love.
We are having a moment. We are living through history. The future is now. If we are authentic, vulnerable and honest with ourselves and each other, we can really create a greater place, where we can all breathe. We can do this. Together we go farther. Black Lives Matter.