How to Leverage Patience

A Pause for Patience (40/52)

Use of the word “patience” is at its lowest point in the past 500 years of recorded history.

This says a lot about us as a society. Authors tend to write about what people want to hear. It’s what sells. And, frankly, modern society isn’t very patient these days, nor do people want to hear about it.

Patience doesn’t sell.

Since I’m not trying to sell anything, I’m glad to write about it because it’s a message we all need to be reminded of.

The streets are littered with gold.

Technology has quickly evolved and made everything in our lives easier. But it’s never enough.

Every innovation or new evolution of a product promises more ease and convenience. Our phones replace six other devices we used to need. Amazon offers one-click purchase. I can “write” text without typing. I can literally find the answer to anything within seconds.

Our streets are littered with gold. The latest devices smashed, thrown out, disposed of. We’re done. Ready for the next one.

This promise of ease and convenience continues to deliver. And I love it.

There’s only one problem: we expect this same ease to move beyond technology and transcend all aspects of life.

We expect our work to be easy. Our pursuit of happiness to be easy. Our way to entrepreneurial success to be easy.

And, when we find that it’s not all that easy, we doubt ourselves. We think something is wrong with us because we’re not reaching the level we wanted with the ease we expected.

So we give up. Move on. Start anew. Only to find the same ending…

Until we learn a different path. The path that requires hard work, dedication, and, most of all, patience.

The internal triggers that move us forward — and hold us back.

We all have internal triggers that create the driving motivation behind all of our behaviors. This sounds like it’s going to be real deep stuff. But it’s simple:

Everything we do is a response to a negative internal trigger, and we are seeking relief.

A study found that people with clinical depression check email more often. Why? Because they felt down more often (a negative trigger), and they went online for relief. Checking email gives a sense of achievement and connectedness. But the feeling doesn’t last because it’s a false sense of achievement and connectedness.

Do you know what your triggers are? When we feel unsure we turn to google. Lonely and we turn to Facebook. Bored and we turn to YouTube.

Distressed.

Discouraged.

Powerless.

Dissatisfied.

These all drive us to do certain things. Technology and access have made finding relief to any of these feelings far easier and far more convenient.

This access has also made us more distracted. We’re now more inclined to seek relief than we are to stick with something, endure and embrace challenge, and patiently pursue something more meaningful.

“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.”― Aristotle

Patience is self-controlled suffering.

This sounds bad. Very bad.

Why would we want self-controlled suffering?

It’s because nothing good comes from easy. When we seek easy relief, it’s short-lived. In fact, we typically drive ourselves deeper into the emotional trigger that got us there in the first place. We feel more lonely. More boredom. More dissatisfaction.

When we practice self-control over these feelings, keeping ourselves from taking the easy route to relief, it might feel painful…until the feeling subsides. Then, as we continue to practice patience, overcome challenges, and do what we say we’re going to do, there are strong positive feelings on the other side that promises way more than temporary relief.

“Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.”― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

THE CHALLENGE

Practice patience.

Take a few moments to think about an area of life where you need to practice more patience. Write these areas down.

Pick one. Close your eyes. Think about what patience in this area of your life will mean. How will it make you feel? How will it affect others? What is your hesitation to be more patient?

Reminder: Patience does not mean “do nothing.” Perhaps for some that might be what’s needed. But for most, however, patience likely means hanging in there, pushing through the valleys without trying to control the outcome, and continuing the effort despite thoughts about giving up.

“Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in your mind.” David G. Allen

To Your Success,

Will