400 days of sobriety
From the morning of January 1st 2011 to February 5th 2012, I did not drink alcohol. I won’t go into what specifically triggered this, but let’s just say that it’s no coincidence that this all started after a New Year’s Eve party.
I woke that morning on the floor of a bedroom in a friend’s student house mostly full of people I did not care for. Around me were the barely conscious bodies of a few other friends, the previous night I had consumed more alcohol than I ever had before and felt it. Immediately after returning home later in the day I vomited as a result of alcohol for the first time.
I never wanted there to be a second time.
My relationship with alcohol was by no means an abusive one, there was no dependency and I didn’t drink to overcome any kind of anxiety or life stresses. I just drank and had done since the age of 15, apparently this was just something I did for no real reason. This led me to the realisation that I had never made any sort of conscious decision to drink, I had never weighed the pros and cons or sought advice from anyone more knowledgeable than me. I had just fallen into it and that didn’t seem right.
Over the next few weeks I decided that I wanted to go for a while without drinking. To experience the things in life that are so often accompanied by alcohol, completely sober. Birthdays, nights out with friends, Christmas and all of the other things throughout which I was usually slightly inebriated.
I went 400 days without drinking any alcohol and it was certainly one of the most eye-opening periods of my life.
I discovered that I didn’t need to be a bit drunk to do a lot of the things that previously I would’ve needed to down a shot to do. Dancing in front of other people and talking to girls I liked on a night out for example. I still managed to have fun on nights with no consequences in the morning. I felt much healthier overall and during the summer of 2011 I joined a gym, which combined with not drinking helped me lose a lot of weight. Even Christmas, which in the past I would’ve maintained a steady level of tipsy throughout, was in no way lessened by being sober.
There were of course some not so good aspects to not drinking. I found it difficult to stay out past 2am (which one could argue is not a bad thing) which did leave me almost napping in a club on a few occasions while I waited for my friends. I also had to explain myself a lot when not drinking, especially in a club where it is expected of you. Most people were very accommodating and just thought it was interesting or asked a few questions about it, which I did not mind.
There were however a small few who either could not grasp the concept or found it weird and made them uncomfortable. I think this was because they were not as comfortable drinking themselves into oblivion when they knew there was someone there who would remember what they did and who they did it to.
Once the year mark had passed, I didn’t feel any need to celebrate going that long without by going on a bender which is probably quite telling. I just carried on not drinking without even thinking about it.
The first drink I had after that long was the result of a combination of dark feelings and personal loss. For the first time in over a year I really felt like I ‘needed a drink’, to forget what was going on around me for a little while. I didn’t get drunk, I just had a couple to relax me.
These days I am what’s best described as a social drinker, a few drinks after work or with a nice meal out and the occasional big night where I get drunk. I think after going without and evaluating why I drink I’ve found that I like the relaxing qualities that alcohol has, helping to take the edge off or wind down after a hard day.
I would thoroughly recommend to anyone who is intrigued to give it a go, even if for no more than 6 months. Take the time to step back from your usual drinking habits and reflect on why it is that you drink and what it gives you.
You might find that the answer surprises you.
