This is my story. I’m not really sure why I tell you this, but I need to share this. I’ve found my motivation and got inspired by so many people. This is my way of giving something back…
This last year I’ve had my heart broken, my dreams crushed and I think I’ve lost my spirit. I saw my grandmother moving out, saw my father crash his bike and held my breath for my mother. I was in rehabilitation myself, but nearly had the time for it. Pain kept me awake, over six year now. But this last year was the hardest, physically and mentally. My mind kept on worrying, it just kept on going. All of this has made me afraid.
I almost lost my family, lost myself somewhere along the way. Went from hospital to hospital. Cried my heart out, not even knowing what troubled me the most. I’ve hit rockbottom, so hard and so fast you can’t even begin to imagine. I was ready to give up, I really couldn’t take no more…
But I knew I couldn’t. I love these people too much to just give up. And how can I take care of others if I can’t even take care of myself? I’ll die before I give up! I refuse to use anything as an excuse. I’ve learned if you really want something, you’ll find answers, you’ll see possibilities. And If you don’t… Push harder! When things go terribly wrong, priorities come clear. You will know what matters when you’re entire world is braking down.
This year I’ve worked my ass off. I got inspired, found my reasons and I’ve found my motivation. I toke responsibility and got things done! And when things didn’t seem to work, I got up earlier and pushed even harder. I’ve learned to admit when I failed, but never to accepted it. It changed my life. It changed me and everything around me. And now… I think everything is more or less okay. If it’s not, it will. The hardest part is over, we all survived. I feel good. The ones I love around me are getting better. And there will be more hard moments, but nothing that we can’t handle. Nothing that I can’t fight for.
This last year changed my life… More then you’ll ever know. And yes, we all have our problems, we all have something. It’s how you handle them what matters. If you want it, go get it. There is no easy way, there is no ‘I’ll start tomorrow’. Just know you really don’t have to wait until you’ve hit rockbottom to change your life. Even if you think your life is okay now. Or if you just want to start with something new, something different...
Trust me, I’ve found out the hard way.
