Where do you think you are at this moment? And can you sum it up in three words? Hard isn’t it? It took me weeks to get to three words without losing any meaning.
So, you want to know where I am today? I’m in the middle. The middle of the storm. And you might guess what you need to face to get in the middle… Yep!
Let me tell you why knowing where you are is important. I said I’m in the middle, the middle of what doesn’t matter. The fact that I’m in the middle does. Well you need to realize you need to realize. For most people things overcome them, if they’re lucky it passes and it’s on to the next. But how can YOU overcome things if you don’t face them. How can you learn if you refuse to see or hear. How can you find a solution of you don’t take the time to find beauty in all the chaos.
There comes a moment when you see possibilities and you see ways out. And things seem to calm down, even if they don’t, they do! Only if it’s because you just got the courage to get up and start walking again. And if you do you can pick up others along the way. But you can’t take care of others if you can’t take care of yourself. That’s when you realize you’re in the middle.
Now, let me tell you what it did for me. I do need to sketch the big picture for this, but I’ll try to leave out the details.
It was six or seven years ago, just felt like a gentle summer breeze when it started. Nothing special, just some bad luck with a bad timing, nothing I couldn’t handle. After a while things got real, must be four years by now. It went from gentle summer breeze to a little storm. Turned out the be a quit obstinate storm, no way of seeing this coming. I could never know it would change my life, yet somehow it was exactly what I needed.
It made me who I am today, and if it didn’t I don’t know how I would survived the last six months of my life. If the time before was a storm, I think can call these last six a big fat ugly hurricane. It was chaos, like I’ve never seen before, people down and debris everywhere. Fucking everywhere! It stopped my world, it felt like literally did stop. The only thing that mattered was surviving, not me, but the people around me.
So before you realize you’re somewhere in what feels like a hurricane, looks like a hurricane and throws debris at you like a hurricane you’re halfway in. No way of knowing where exactely in the storm you are and which way you should go. Times does go slow when you hope for a miracle, believe me. But there comes a point when the storm seems calms down. Usually that’s when you’ll get hit by a lost truck, or a car if you’re lucky.
And if for some miracle people like to call god you just get hit by just a golf cart, don’t worry. Sometimes it comes so fast you’ll see it coming but you can’t make out what it is before it hits you. And it will hit you, right in the face. It will fucking knock you out! So who cares what’s coming, getting back up should be your only concern…
You do wonder how long it will last, but it’s okay, ‘cause this is your storm and you have to get through it, no matter what. It has destroyed a lot of things you love, it will destroy even more, no matter what you do. You just hope you can hang on. Every storm has it’s middle. If you’re lucky, you’ll make it there. It’s where the best part(s) of your life will start from. Because it’s not how destructive the storm was, how soaked you’ve got or what and who you’ve lost. It’s how you faced it. And if you did, you should make it to the same place I am right now.
But let’s be honest, where are we? We’re nowhere! We’re here, but here is where it starts! You’ve learned how to face a storm. You got in, you got in the middle. And now you should have no problems getting out. And if the next storm is even bigger, remember the first time you got knocked down, don’t ever let it happen again. You are stronger then you where, you are stronger then you think!
So this is me, this is my storm. It has made me who I am today. I’m not sure if I can be proud of who I am, but I believe I can. All I’m sure of is I’m in the middle and ready to get out. I’m running in, head on. Because the faster I run in, the faster I will get out. It’s what we all need to do, everyone has his own storm. No matter what it is, it’s how you faced it. And it’s only when storms collide they grow, so don’t try to stay in the middle. Don’t run away either, it will suck you in sooner or later. If you want a chance of getting out, face it it. Head on! Because it’s your storm, and it will make you what you can become, so let it! Embrace the good that comes with the bad, just make sure you make it into something great.
And just maybe, there’s an superhurricane on the way I just don’t see yet, Maybe earth is about to tear open under my feet any second now, no way of predicting, no way of seeing it coming until I’m already falling. Or maybe this was the disaster of my life, and the rest will be quit boring… Or I just go from middle to middle to middle, all mediocre storms… Or just maybe, I think too much, but I don’t think that can be true…
But I know exactly where I am. Do you?
