Glimpse Beyond This Illusion
GALEF: In the beginning, you must understand that― back then― we didn’t know what we had. Did not know what we were dealing with, didn’t know what we do now. Salient in this line of speculation, is an unavoidable realization that only one element linked these three cases.
With a single component, three seemingly separate things became the same thing.
When Twelvuno/dos brought their suspicion to me, I immediately intuited its truth. Something clicked into place, for me, and it suddenly made sense. For them, my acceptance of that hypothesis was as good as confirmation. Our simple discrepancy became something more substantial, as the story revealed itself to us more clearly. With the narrowing of our scope, our perspective expanded. But rather than keep things simple, it complicated them immensely. The resolution of that mystery exposed… sprouted… another larger puzzle. But these were actually, we soon recognized, an extension of the mystery we thought we had sufficiently solved.
We could not go directly to the source to verify anything, because the fulcrum in our concentric circumference was the closest we could have aimed for, and had since gone incommunicative… essentially unavailable. Even that person was only proximate.
To say I don't understand, given what we deduced, why Twelvuno/dos decided to speak with the Therapist-- alone, would be incorrect. I do understand the temptation. I shared it. But I resisted, and wish they had consulted with me first. So at least precautions could be arranged, attempted in this dubious venture. To protect each other, and prevent... well, what happened to them? I'm still not entirely sure. Even with, or despite, another related case file, the doctors-- the so-called experts-- remain inconclusive.
Was Twelvuno/dos being selfish? Or self-less? Pre-empting me? Or protecting me? I prefer to give benefit of the doubt, and assume good intentions… they having offered no obvious reason to think otherwise.
Both of us were operating purely in the realm of “what if?”. Informed, educated and totally rational in plausibility, but still speculative. Now they are in the same psychiatric facility… along with that afflicted Therapist and those two Attorneys. Because of that single client the three of them had in common. Why no psychiatric staff or investigators have been rendered the same vagabond condition is another aspect of the mystery. If I had to guess, none of them asked the right questions? Are we diving, or are we sinking? The officials and authorities are using different context and definitions, and so we are effectively not actually even discussing the same topic.
I know those pertinent questions. But now… for now, I won’t say I am afraid to ask… but the answers are not compelling enough for me to risk.
Of course, I say that, from the relative comfort and certainty of not knowing the answers. As a detective, I can almost be ashamed. I have found an absent vacancy.
SABELLI: I heard that Galef had even gained the esteem of Detective 33 — which is no small task. Or praise. I’ve never met D33, but them and Galef had worked a case together. And D33 prefers going solo… so that should tell you something. Investigators such as we, operate in the realm of How and Why. We do not — generally — seek to find any who or what, except in the direction of ascertaining those particulars. Unfortunately, that will serve neither of us, in this case. Before, uh… well, before… Galef had a real talent for connecting variegated positions… transferring and transitioning data sets into a composit amalgam. They deduced and de-escalated ambivalent aspects below or beyond common awareness. Always investigating the ambiguous, relished the transitory of uncertainty. But uncovering the — what I’ll refer to as the Q’onos Quotient… when the Tlingon war had barely begun… changed — ruined — all that. Ruined Galef, eventually.
For my own safety, and sanity, they refused to divulge details. Deferring to their assessment, I declined to ask any more on that subject. Knowing what effect the, uh, Quotient had on those who did look into it, this is one mystery I am not keen to pursue.
Now, lucidly traversing the liminal, bordering on subliminal, Galef is transformed into a stranger in the consensual world — for which they have not given consent… and for which we take for granted… they are without place or purpose. Caught in perpetual in-between, lingering… languishing?… in transition… interstitial in a void they cannot a-void, feeling de-void — I don’t know what they have to do with anything. They no longer know how to interact with this reality. Subsumed and subsisting in a haze of malaise and situational ennui, as if there is either no real world to exist in, or no real Galef to exist in that world. Living day to day under the shadow of such an argent (and ardent) conspiracy must be vexxing, perplexing. The gradual and increasing difficulty of continuing in such a marginal existence becomes inevitable, unviable — though not enviable. Until it is not anymore? Struggling to find an escape from this endless dangling dalliance, they have, in their eerie erstwhile predicament, essentially, become perfunctory, peripheral… parenthetical.
The more distant, and indistinct, they grow from this reality, the more distant — and distinct — it grows from them. Each equally and reciprocally defined — or UNdefined? — by an absence and separation from the other. They have abandoned, and been abandoned by, conventional standards. As Galef unravels, so do their relationships. Or maybe that’s backwards? Maybe indifferent. Without deference. Irreverent toward irrelevance. All momentum is rendered lateral, rather than literal. Interstitial and intermediate, instead of inertial and immediate.
And, if the quest is the same, the differences in our personal histories, which hitherto meant so much to us, become of minor importance.
I do not entirely understand this impulse. All of their comprehension is now incomprehensible. To Galef, and therefor, to others they encounter. In their extraneous disposition, they are no longer to be held accountable for theirself, nor to others. I am grateful for that. I await, as they do, and anticipate… anticipatory anticipation.
-Are Stories Told Of Stories Untold?-
Beginnings begin, endings end
Preceded by, not proceeding from
Expire, inspire, aspire
Diverse verses and voices
Converse to converge
Versus vice versa?
Then diverge, dispersing
Convene unseen in between
Narrative barriers, banners
Guiding and guarding;
Our planetary union