BIRTHDAY MONTH 🍻🍹🍸

It’s my birth month. You know once in a while someone amazing comes along, and here I am. This is the month that nature decided to gift you all with my wonderful existence.

So to celebrate this amazing month let me tell y’all a story about way back when I was young and did not know the ways of the world. Way before I knew that Brandy makes you forget how to feel and people don’t always mean what they say. Before my mind could comprehend the awful nature in which humanity is programed.

As a child I was an over achieving stubborn prick who thought the whole world was at her feet. I believed I was always right and nobody could tell me nothing. The only other person or thing I listened to, apart from the many books that I always had my face buried in, was my teacher and even she had to answer a few questions here and there.

A few years into my childhood, I think I was about seven, my favorite uncle back then got himself a beautiful woman. Now what happens when you get yourself a woman and y’all fall in love. You marry them that’s what. 😃. He was to hold this big wedding in the heart of Nyahururu and yours faithfully was to be the the best, best girl for that occasion (I put it like that because I am not sure what they call the little girls who hand the rings over to the couple)

Anyway on the said day, Winnie walks down the aisle like it’s her a** getting married, with all the glitter on her forehead, her very white dress (it actually meant something back then) and pretty flowers on her hands. I was sitted on the very front pew at the church just feeling myself, y’all feel me, I was the bomb.

Halfway into the ceremony (I thought it was too long and too boring) the pastor says “one plus one is equal to one.” Now hold up, What? Did this Pastor just try to insult my intelligence. I clearly remember my teacher saying that one plus one is equal to two. Just in case I had heard wrong, I pay more attention. The Pastor repeats this words again, not once, not twice but thrice. He made the mistake four times and everyone in this church is just chill with this man of God. It was too much people, too much. I stood up amidst the silence and went “That’s a lie, He’s lying to us.” (Ps: My English was really good until I met this group of people that taught me that mixing Swahili and English also works, quite well in fact)

This Man of God looks at me, clearly confused and asks me gently to go to the altar. I oblige happily, ready to explain. (This was before my crowd phobia set in, which it did at around fifteen years of age.) He asks me what I mean and hands me the microphone. I go on to explain that, his mathematics is off and my teacher would be highly disappointed, that one plus one is equal to two, not one as he so claimed. At this point the congregation is dying of laughter. I do not understand why and I just pointed out a mistake they all missed. My Mom is smiling broadly, ear to ear. I can see her from up here. Anyway long story short, this Man of God had to agree with my sentiments and my teacher’s theory so as to get me off the altar, so that the wedding could go on as planned.

I bumped into that Man of God early this week in Nyahururu. He is an old man now with grey hair but he has never forgotten me. I was the highlight of his run as a clergyman, he claims. He whispered a few blessings into my life and sent me on my way but not before he reminded me of this incident.

You see I told you, July brought you an amazing human. Until next time, like and comment. Oh, also, I am receiving birthday gifts inform of money, books ( I really need someone to breathe Questions for Ada into my life, pretty please) and also money 😃. Love and light people, love and light ❤❤.

This is also a tribute to my uncle who passed away on the February of this year. May his soul find eternal peace.🙏.