droplets of storm
i remember those times when everything used to be simpler. i remember sitting on that same old desk every single thursday afternoon to do some thinking. it's pretty how when you look back it feels like time flies when in reality it felt like eternities had passed back then.
i remember my friends, with solemn expressions and shaking pupils, trying to get things done right. their melodic sighs that caught my heart in a tangled lump had been a normal occurrence back then. i let loose some gloomy smile and whispered a small encouragement when they did.
i remember the soft hummings i produced myself in a moment of frustration, and how the others' voice had calmed me when they absentmindedly joined in on my little symphony. i knew back then that i wasn't alone.
everything felt like a thunderstorm, like the sea was mad at how easy my life was. all it wanted to do was wreck ships and leave everything on the bottom of the sea for the fishes to see. it wasn't easy, but i really knew back then that i wasn't alone.
i had liked staring at the window when the rain poured over the city. i wished back then that i could just put my head on the desk and watch how the rain came down in small droplets, travelling down rooftops, meeting other droplets, and sliding down to the ground together. my friends hadn't thought us lucky when it rained. maybe we were all doomed to sadness and gloom forever, they thought.
i thought not, because there are silver linings between scratchy paths and reasons behind every smudge on the silky white planes. we weren't meant to give up on every single cliff, we were meant to look for turnabouts.
i remember reworking and trying to finish the abstract lines on days when the storm was a lot less angry. it felt calmer, almost soothing, but emptier.
what i like remembering was whenever i finished and i had nothing else to do. i always had that same tired smile on my face, feeling like all those journeys were worth it. it was nice, like i'd won something. they were all worth the effort.
after all had finished, we closed the door to that almost too horrific chapter and tried not looking back.
(we did, but it was almost a really nice chapter of memory compared to the hurricane we're about to face.)
-droplets of storm (or, alternatively, “gamtek”)

