IF YOU HAVE EVER BEEN TOLD TO BE SMARTER, HERE’S HOW...
Imagine if everything you know to be true was a lie.

I had a friend once.
Farouq spent most of his time speaking to people, only he did this as a vocation. As with most public speakers, he loved the sound of his own voice and would lobby for opportunities to mount a stage and subject hundreds of people to his articulation for hours.
I loved the sound of his voice too.
But because, as his close friend, I heard his voice very often, I treated appearing for his various speaking events with less importance.
Felix was quieter, but thoughtful and wise – although Farouq never thought so. He would rather describe Felix as unsupportive and maintained an airy opinion of him as a snob.
In contrast, I understood Felix. He was reserved and introspective, twin traits the society has little knowledge of and gives little regard for. Felix would avoid Farouq and Farouq would return the favour in the same way a mosquito would avoid a spray of Mortein.
I had wished Farouq would have been more lenient with his judgment of Felix, but if Farouq would never understand Felix, I would also understand why he would not. The world has no tolerance for those who exercise their courage to be different unapologetically.
As a mindset consultant and trainer, I’m trained myself to understand everyone and recognize by which level of knowledge their actions are influenced.
But I’d never have prepared for what I heard when I decided to attend one of Farouq’s voguish event after a long time of skiving to do so.
Somewhere during his speech, after throwing half the audience into a paroxysm of laughter, he said something that literally pulled me to the edge of my seat.
“I once had a friend who was never supportive and would avoid me because he felt that all this speaking I do is just motivational talk and that I’ll soon quit. He would never show up for my event, the perfect snob. But here we are. What if I had given up because a close friend didn’t believe in me?” He said, his pause well measured for effect. “It doesn’t matter who believes in you or not. Just keep on pushing, and if you’re pushed back and you fall, pick something up. That’s the lesson.”
The crowd roared and cheered to the achievement and endurance of my friend and I remained transfixed, paralyzed by awe and understanding. Yes, I understood something then.
Much of the opinion we hold about people, especially how they concern us, are based on assumption. We interpret events based on our level of enlightenment at the time when they happen.
That’s why they say assumption is the lowest form of intelligence.
What if all the ugly stuff that speaker said about his parents were only his imaginations of what they felt towards him? Apart from his opinion, is there another proof that they really disapproved of his career choice?
I remembered then the number of times I’d sat under influencers and thought leaders to hear them share their story of holding up against disbelief and resistance. What if they were like Farouq who only thought Felix was insensitive and unsupportive because he never really understood Felix’s personality?
Is everyone not obsessed with telling stories from their perspective alone? Haven’t you been listening to a single story and shaping your decisions based on them?
Let’s not deny it. We do it everyday. When our colleague does not greet us at resumption, we hastily conjure a reason why in order to fill our curiosity so we would avoid thinking critically about the situation.
“Oh, Femi has told him something about me. That’s why he did not greet me. I saw them talking isolatedly early this morning.”
Immediately, you start to ignore Femi whose only real offence was that he didn’t actually see you.
Tomorrow, you will probably mount a stage and say, “When a friend hears bad things about you without finding out the truth and he starts to ignore you, you should question the type of people you let into your life. I once had a friend...”
Then one more person in the audience is already wondering who she should kick out of her life.
And most of us live our lives holding biased and selfish opinions about people. Personally, I have long made it a practice and a matter of principle to never sit down in a table where the subject of discourse is someone’s wrongdoing. It doesn’t make sense.
I will always say this. Our problem is we do not think. We have been trained to not think. We immediately give meaning to situations so we will not spend 10 minutes thinking about it. Conformity is the most potent tool the world uses to keep us under control. It takes courage to break out.
Always pursue what is helpful, not what is true. There is nothing true except what you've accepted.
Truth will always vary. Never accept another person’s own as yours, except you’ve tried it and proven it to be true for yourself. Until then, it’s not your own truth.
The Holy Book says, “Try every spirit.”
Don’t believe everything you hear. Your brain will tell you otherwise. Don’t worry, that’s how the world wants it to be.
But you have the choice now to be brave.
QUESTION EVERYTHING.
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