The diva begins to mumble jumble.

Okay. So, the dawn has come, the indefatigable, the invincible , the all-encompassing, the wisest of all ladies is here.

Of all her time spent in this earthly existence, in the pre-designated — pre-determined — cosmically chosen time/date/place she starts to write. Beware, she is the greatest thing that happened to this earth, so hold on to your breath (and sanity) and read on.

She ain't no ‘Mrs. FunnyBones’, but she definitely is a Funny Mrs with bones. Well 8 years back she surely had a lot of protruding bones, but with an immensely fucking career in networking and embedded systems (Mind you! dare you say ‘IT’), instead of bones you might see a plethora of bulging balloons with special mention of two balloons ‘up’ ‘front’and an over-blown tummy balloon.

Looks like you really had the courage to read to this point. So, here the diva goes in forcing a daily dose down your throat :-

Just when I finished rummaging through the daily bibles at work (aka TOI/HT/FB), I get a phone call from my MR.’s nephew-grandpa’s daughter-in-law. Post the pleasantries, comes the attack. “When is the good news?” “Arreh, kar loh, phir late hojaaoge”.

While I am engrossed in hitting laptop strokes to dump the value of a pointer to a pointer to an array of pointers of a byte aligned data structure via GDB, I keep on ducking/shielding — “Yes, dekhte hain”, “Abhi toh stable hi nahin hue hain”. My skillfully practiced attempts to fire back with “Mausam kaisa hai wahaan? Yahaan toh bahut garmi hai”, “Chunnu kaisa hai, exams ho gaye?” surprisingly bail me out for today.

I know my willingness to conceive is the first and foremost priority for this nation, a matter of national security and well being for India. This definitely holds a place among the other grave issues that India faces today — I know at least two of them by heart : Shahid Kapoor getting married to a Ms.Rajput — who wait, is not from any filmy fraternity but LSR college! omg! and Anushka will cheer for Virat ..hold your breath ..in Sydney!. Yes, these are the type of issues we love to read in newspapers — who reads about govt’s handling of Swine flu (caused nearly 2000 deaths) or about Ebola or ISIS or Boko Haram (not happening in India, why should we even bother?).

Let me end this musing with a serene poem from John Donne:

No man is an island,
Entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.