#WriterWednesday: Why I Deleted My Tinder
Spoiler Alert: It’s not for the reasons you are thinking. No, I am not off the market. I am not settling down with a studly man and moving into his Great Gatsby style mansion.
I got a Tinder account because my sister basically put a metaphorical gun to my head and blatantly seemed like she was concerned that I don’t put myself out there enough.
I was perfectly okay with creating one because I love meeting new people and I like talking to people. Yet, I knew when I made the account, that I was never going to go on a date with any of the guys I talked on there with.
I don’t like dating. And I know that comes off really weird simply because I have no experience with dating but it’s because for the most part, I already know what I am looking for in a man and can tell if he’s someone I can develop a relationship with even before we go on a date.
What’s the secret?
Tinder is known for being a sex app. And people every day use it for that sole purpose. Yet, I wasn’t one of those people.
See, for every guy that messaged me on there, I could instantly tell if he was just on there for sex and to buy me a drank, or if he really wanted to get to know me.
It’s no mystery that guys don’t really like texting. Yet, for me, if a guy can hold a descent conversation via text or in this case, Tinder, I will not only give him my number but I will also open up to him.
The true test of whether a guy is worth my time is how he reacts when he finds out I’m not only a writer but I’m already published.
As a girl who since my teens has a habit of obsessing and fangirling over guys I like (celebrity or average joes alike), I finally realized why Tinder didn’t work for me.
When it comes down to it, one trait I am looking for in a potential mate or date is that they are willing to become my biggest fan. As a writer and also as a person, I face rejection every single day. Now I know I’m not alone there but still, it’s a little hard to be me.
The reason I decided to delete my Tinder is because I was snapping and texting a few guys from Tinder about a new poem I wrote. The reason I told everyone about it is because I figured it wasn’t a crime to share my writing with them. I had talked to them for a good month or so and figured what would be the harm in sharing a poem with everyone. I mean it was on my public blog.
As a result, I found out that a lot of the guys were not supportive in the slightest. A few wrote back: “Are you looking for more followers? others said, “Is this an ad?” It really hurt at first because they showed absolutely no interest in my writing and my writing is a reflection of me especially when it comes to poetry. With poetry, I really release a lot of emotions I’ve been experiencing.
One guy texted me this: It’s a thought provoking piece that may or may not intimidate a prospective lover.
It all comes down to me being too intimidating. Ahahaha story of my life.
Well at least that guy was honest. Which is why I’ve deleted my Tinder.
When it comes to love, I’m not interested in settling at being anyone less than who I am:
Mouthy (especially when I have too much coffee)
Addicted to coffee
and reading a good book
lover of Jesus
doesn’t trust people too easily
because of the rejection I’ve faced throughout my life
Loves working out but likes a good cookie or brownie every now and then
Who also happens to be someone who refuses to settle inside a man’s shadow and I set out every day to do something to make my dreams a reality and in the meantime, I hope I inspire you to do the same, and be all you are and never let anyone tell you that you intimidate them or to tone down who you are for them.
Speaking of not giving up or toning myself down for anyone, I recently shared that I left Chanillo.com. Yet, I know a lot of you wanted to read my new re-write project, Kickflip My Heart.
You can do that here. ABSOLUTELY FREE I MIGHT ADD. So far, only the first two chapters are up but once I reach 100 views, I will add another installment.
Until next time remember,
Love Times Infinity,
~Just Keep Swimming~
Originally published at chellyzlife.blogspot.com on February 17, 2016.