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Name That…You!

Kai Chan
Kai Chan
Sep 2, 2018 · 3 min read

This is part of my experiment to write regularly and publish every day with the help of 365 Days of Writing Prompts. Today’s prompt: “Do you know the meaning of your name, and why your parents chose it? Do you think it suits you? What about your children’s names?”

Do I know the meaning of my name? Yes, I do. I have written about it, along with how it shaped my life, so I am going to do that again. Instead, I will write about other people’s names.

There are cultural differences between how parents name their children here in the U.S. and back in Hong Kong.

While in the U.S., I once had an English teacher named Troy. In one of the sessions where the class talked about names, a classmate asked the teacher what his name meant. His responses? Nope, no meaning, just Troy. It turned out that even common “American” names do have meanings. For example, according to the website Nameberry: “The name Troy is a boy’s name of Irish origin meaning ‘descendant of foot soldier’”.

Many common “American” names are phrases from European languages such as French, Gaelic, German, and Greek. Some names are common words in other languages. For example, Elle is literally the word for “she” in French. Some parents name their names from literature, popular culture, and famous people. For example, Alice is a popular name because of the novel Alice’s Adventure in Wonderland and its Disney movie adoption. It is also quite common to name a child after a parent to a grandparent.

In Hong Kong, it is common to follow the tradition when giving names. There are books that get passed from the ancestors and govern what the name of the next person in the family should be.

When not governed by traditions, people also name their children after famous people and characters. However, that is less common. Instead, my observation is that names often fall into three categories: the characteristics that parents want their children to have, the virtues that parents want their children to develop, and the purpose that parents want their children’s lives to have.

Character-based names are more common with female names: be smart, be joyful, be likable, be pretty, etc. Virtue-based names are more common with name names: be self-reliant, be disciplined, be hard-working, be frugal (which is a Good Thing in Chinese culture), etc.

Purpose-based names are less common with female names. In either case, they often align with gender roles. For example, one female name that is more prevalent among older women literally means “bring us a younger brother”. The parents hope that having giving such name to a baby girl, the mother would soon give birth to a younger brother. Sure, it is horrible, it is sexist, but as I have written elsewhere before, sexism affects people of all genders. Meanwhile, purpose-based names for boys reflects expectations to achieve often materialistic goals. Bring wealth to the family, make the country strong, etc.

In most cases, I do not think the meanings of the names drive the lives of their children. Sure, people with “American” names can be at an advantage when it comes to things such as job-searching. However, giving a child a name that means smart or successful does not dictate that the child will be smart or successful in their life. The book Freakonomics, written by Stephen J. Dubner and Steven Levitt, devotes a section to the question of whether there is a relationship between one’s name and one’s life. Here is one example: A couple named their two little boys Winner and Loser. It sounds horrible, especially for little Loser. It seemed that Loser is doomed according to their parent, right? No. Loser became a sergeant in the New York Police Department. In contrast, Winner had trouble with the law and was sent to prison.

Even though names might not have this magical power that dictates the fate of the children bearing those names, it can be indicative of how the parents raise their children and what their expectations of the children are. For me, I guess I do not really care what name my parents gave me. I wish they just wanted me to be a happy person instead of wanting me to fulfill some impossibly high bar in order to please them.

Written by

Kai Chan

Changing the world that talks too much, one piece of writing at a time. Leading the leaders, when they can lead and when they cannot.

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