Hi there! Welcome to my corner of the web. Please feel free to use all the cheats I’ve collected to help you get to that next level! Please sign my guestbook so I can know what part of the world you’re coming from!

Your Pal,


Contra (Nintendo Entertainment System)

30 extra Lives Cheat


Put this code in and add another 30 lives to your quest to be the next Schwarzenegger, or Sly Stallone! If only we could all have that many lives to throw around.

Metroid (Nintendo Entertainment System)

Suitless Samus

Unlocked By: Beat the game under two hours and then at the password screen press Start.

Unlocked By: By beating the game under two hours Samus Aran ( A woman!) will be so impressed with your handiwork that she’ll show off herself in a nice little bikini number.

Wowza! How’s that for added value!

House (IRL)

Have Grandma Raid Your Room And Throw Out Your Expired Condoms

Unlocked By: First, make sure you’ve started the Arts School questline otherwise, you will not be able to use this cheat.

Start off by racking up 40,000 in student loans, and using the “two years unemployed” glitch. Press Start and you should unlock “Live in Son” mode.

Once unlocked press B,A,B, Unmade bed.

Ice Hockey (Nintendo Entertainment System)

Pulling Both Goalies

Unlocked By: (*Two Controllers required) On the Title screen hold A & B on both controllers, then press Start on controller 1.

What’s great about this cheat is that pulling the goalie also doubles as slang for stopping contraception. What a no brainer! See what I did there?

Life (Grade 9–12)

Get out of Gym Class Because of “Asthma”

Unlocked By:

Years of thigh rashes from nylon and an enthusiasm for Hotpockets that borders on fetishism.

Super Tip: This cheat works especially well for swim class.

7–11 (IRL)

Free Gas Station Sandwiches

Unlocked By:

Get the largest Gulp you can find and a sub (Preferably pizza, or tuna, but live your life, I guess). Place the sub into the container and then pour over your Slurpee of choice ( Coke does a good job of covering your tracks, but anything berry based will work in a pinch).

Buy your Slurpee and you just got yourself dinner and a drink for one low price. You’re saving so much coin even Mario would be jealous.

Castlevania 3: Dracula’s Curse (Nintendo Entertainment System)

Medusa Nude and stuff

Unlocked By:

Dude, buy a European or Japanese NES, and don’t get pinned by the pilgrim like attitudes of America. Ugh. Can’t believe they would mess with people’s immersion, but here we are.

Japan and their true appreciation of the female form.
America and their Puritanical BS. (Special thanks to

Mike Tyson’s Punchout! (Arcade)

Easy Level Progress

Unlocked By:

I got this by getting to the second opponent (Von Kaiser) and getting through round one. After amassing a small audience in the arcade I proudly proclaimed: “This one’s for Sam, you Poland poacher!”

What I didn’t realize that my hometown featured an abnormally high rate of German nationals vacationing.

Long story short, I got put in a headlock by some knob in a Bayern Munich shirt. A few krav maga maneuvers in I find myself on the floor basking in the arcade’s sticky floor dew.

I compose myself and find that Little Mac was all the way up to Bald Bull. Maybe it was the alpha male state that I was put in, or the arcade machine feeding off my cosmic waves of energy. Regardless, saved a few quarters in the process.

Results may vary.

Being accepted on an ALF BBS for your real take on Kate Tanner and Alf’s romantic relationship. (The Cyber Web)

Unlocked by:

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