Nothing brings closure to a failed relationship like “I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.”
What we had was short. But passionate.
You grew on me like a cyst.
We ate pizza and watched cartoons.
Then you went back to the other guy, the one with John Mayer hair.
Heard nothing from you for years.
Until last Monday, when I was going through my emails.
Wonderful, another one from LinkedIn.
There you were. Associate Manager at KMart.
Now I can endorse you for heartbreaking.