A Heavenly Birthday
Last night we laughed- a lot. About everything. Most especially, you were so proud of yourself and your determination to make it to your milestone birthday. Seventy. 70. You did it. Proudly. Emphatically. Painfully. And this morning, as on most mornings, you are hoping that the coffee fairy has come to start that heavenly elixir that enables you to face the day. I now am quite certain that this love of "magic in a cup" I get from you.
I just came from the kitchen and started a pot. I'm back in bed listening to it brew and letting its aroma keep me from catching a few more winks this morning. Something you would never do, Mom. You were smart that way in your later years and grabbed those extra bits of shut-eye. And hindsight being 20-20, you deserved every additional millisecond of slumber that for far too many years eluded you.
The coffee is almost done. My mug and yours are waiting for me. This morning I'll sit at the kitchen table and watch the birds out back while I take long, deep breaths in and out between sips. And as I do, I'll do what I do every single day. I'll thank God for you. I told you often and I know you knew, but oh what I wouldn't give to tell you face-to-face just one more time that which runs through the core of my being, my heart, and my mind all day, every day: "I love you, Mom. Miss you. Thank you for this crazy life. I never thought I'd make it without you." I'm trying. In the end, that's all any of us can do. Trying is what you did most admirably, fervently, and best.
I'm grabbing my mug. Cheers to the lady who left far too soon. I'll see you...in my dreams, out at the hummingbird feeder or hydrangea once the weather warms (you despised the cold); and I'll definitely see you at lunch. You'll be there in his smile; and trust me, he'll be wearing the yellow sweater you bought him last- you loved him in yellow. You loved him. You loved. You were loved. You are forever and always loved.
Happy birthday. You are among the angels. In heaven. At peace. Quiet comfort to those you left behind.
Forever and always in my heart.
