Where did my focus go?
I find myself very often not achieving what I want. I just can’t make myself do it. I have a something going on in my head, and I don’t understand how to fix it.
I tell myself every day before going to work; “today I will work productive, I will not spend my whole day doing everything else BUT my tasks”. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job, and I love finishing what I am supposed to do.
When I got my first job, I couldn’t believe that I would get paid for doing what I really like doing. What I before would do, just cause I loved it. I would take on freelance work, next to my studies to learn more, to achieve more, to get further. I loved going to work, I loved spending time with my colleagues. Feeling that I was now an adult, with responsibilities. In the beginning everything was so easy. I worked so hard. Every day. Went home, and felt like I had done all I could to deliver to my own standards.
I don’t know what happened. Every morning I tell myself; “today I will work productive, I will not spend my whole day doing everything else BUT my tasks”. I still love going to work, spending time with smart and great people.
Something has changed. My brain just runs off, wanting to do small tasks for everyone else. Checking Facebook. Checking Linkedin. Help out with things that doesn’t necessary have anything with what I should do. Everything but what I am hired for. It feels like I can’t just do what I am supposed to anymore. I can’t motivate myself to just do, what I am supposed to. I still love the job I am doing. I still love whenever I get something finished, and can look at it and feel proud. But why can’t I just do it? Be productive again! Like I was before!
I am trying to figure out how to get out of this bad circle that I am in right now. Where I can go weeks without feeling that I’ve had a productive day.