I actually had to write this. Or, at least, I felt like I had to.

I am so tired of people complaining about bad lyrics. They ruin the experience. Just stop it. Everyone goes like “Oh yay, a new album by a great band — wait, stop. Those lyrics are pretty lame. That’s the worst album I ever heard! Is this a joke? iTunes should give refunds!” And because some, you know, reliable music source agrees, everyone agrees. Yay!

And that’s the point of the whole thing! Everyone agrees, because at least half of the people in this world are sheep who just follow each other’s trends. It’s cool because someone else thinks it’s cool. Everyone is complaining about the right of a personal opinion, but there goes nothing: there is no personal opinion.

I mean, Coldplay released a new album last month. I wouldn’t call myself a Coldplay fan, I haven’t bought any physical CDs and I won’t wear a Coldplay T-shirt or something, but I do like some of their tracks. I do have a few listens if this band releases something new, and decide whether I like it or not. But I was really pumped for this album, because Coldplay just put up a new track on their YouTube channel, called Midnight. I love that track, and I feel like it is better than everything else Coldplay has done in these eighteen years of existence. Because, if you look at it, Coldplay hasn’t done that much styles. Their sound has evolved over the years, but comparing Parachutes and Viva la Vida, everything is still similar. (I intentionally left Mylo Xyloto out here, because that one was the worst album they made. No offence to the people who like it, but to me, Mylo Xyloto was an overproduced way too poppy mess.) And now, they just made an awesome new electro/ambient track! I wasn’t interested in that genre before, but now I am.

But I see what you did there, Coldplay management. Many Coldplay fans of the first hour didn’t like the new track, so let’s release a more old-style single a week afterwards. Everyone forgot Midnight and went on to this new one. And guess what? Magic is the most boring track of the whole record, based off nothing more than a bass riff and constantly going on the same way like that. Don’t get me wrong; I liked Magic when it was released, but after playing the whole album a few times I skipped it. Seriously.

Okay, now everyone’s hooked again, radio receives the new track well, now what should we do to get more fans that weren’t fans before? And here comes the obvious move; release the EDM track. With Avicii. Of course all the sheep are excited now. I’m usually not a fan of EDM music, but I’m fine with this track, although one track like this is more than enough, because almost every more recent Avicii track has got the exact same structure:

1. An introduction. Acoustic, usually guitar or piano.
2. The singing begins, the music sometimes does a semi-fade out and blurs a bit. Music stays calm.
3. A pre-chorus which is the actual chorus in lyrics, but not in music. The music builds up.
4. There we have it guys. The chorus. No vocals, a combination of synths played a few times with sometimes more percussion added while it progresses.
5. Another verse, with music less wild than in the chorus, but more than in the first verse.
6. The exact same pre-chorus and chorus again, besides that the chorus goes on a little longer. And that’s it.

Play a few songs on True, and you get what I want to say.

And now it’s time to give the album its release. People have a listen and decide what they think of it. Sheep wait until the radio plays something new and definitely like it, unless it is an acoustic track, like Oceans (one of the most beautiful tracks on the album, by the way), that’s bad, that needs a little EDM remix to make everything better. And then, it’s review time!

Remember what I said in the beginning of this post?

Every review is about lyrics. Lyrics, lyrics, lyrics. And I know, I also gave the album a few listens, and the lyrics are, indeed, a bit lame.

But WHO CARES? Didn’t we expect to hear Coldplay’s singer being sad about having had a bit of a public breakup on this album?

Oh irony, lyrics are used to express the feelings in a song. Ever heard of instrumental music? It’s been around for a while I think, can’t tell accurately, but at least some time? You know, instrumental music does also express feelings. Through the music. Surprising.