How to be Pretty

Everyone wants the pretty girls. The tall white girl with sexy body and long silky hair. That’s a fact. And it has been embedded in human history ever since the time of Barbie dolls. That no matter how our mothers told us that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, in the end of the fucking day…beauty is in the eye of the one judging you and every second of everyday whether you are in the streets, in school or even you are hiding behind your profile picture in your Facebook account one way or another there will be someone who will judge you. And mind you sweetheart, those qualifications society is looking for will cost you everything; your energy, time, emotion and even your own self.

I am not trying to be a negative here, I am just ranting about the unfair situation that we teenagers nowadays are dealing. Like anybody else I am an insecure person. I hate it when someone compliments my friends except not me. I hate it when someone have an eyes to my friends and not even giving me a glance. I hate it when how much I tried to better myself, nobody gives a fuck. Then I said to myself, no matter how many hours I spend watching YouTube videos on make-up tutorials, beauty hacks and fashion haul…no matter how many good selfies I take every day…no matter how fleek my eyebrows are and how smoky my eye makeup is NO ONE GIVES A FUCK.

Literally no one. Yes there will be some who recognizes it but does not appreciate it. They compliments you but those are just empty words because I know they only said it for the mean time. Later when my makeup washes off and tomorrow when I wear a plain T-shirt, I know those compliments will never be heard again. So? What will I’m going to do with this insecurity? Do I have to wear my mask every day until it will become part of my skin? Do I have to pretend to be a different person just to gain attention? Or do I have to waste my time, effort and money just to keep up with what society demands? As expected, I answered myself yes of course, I need to. But I cannot blame myself. Why? Because I can still feel the jealousy and self-pity I felt every time other people talk to my friends rather than me, the loneliness I felt every time someone’s always smiling and jolly hanging out with the my friends and being quiet and boring every time they are with me. I can feel the sadness I felt when almost every one compliments my friends except me. I cannot blame myself for keeping up with the demand of this cruel world because right now I can still feel the loneliness I felt every time.

If you all are thinking maybe it’s my problem. Yes I thought of that too, no need to remind me. I always do that. But I realized they are good things about me and yet people don’t see it and they are bad things about the pretty friend I have yet people don’t see it too. So maybe that’s how the game goes, the pretty ones will have the clean slate and the ugly ones got all the dirt. People seems to just grasp the face, are they blind? We are not just a face, we have a body, mind and soul. Then why can’t they appreciate the other parts of me? I am good at dancing but it seems people refused to see my movements and just judge me based on my face. I am not ugly but there are someone or others who are prettier, who have the qualities I don’t have and so society rejects. Society doesn’t satisfy itself, if there will be someone better than you then you’ll be part of the liabilities. And it struck me, if that would be the case then I may be pretty today but not tomorrow right? So if sacrificing every time will just get me to temporary crown then why risk?

There will always be the “better one”, there will always be the favorite, the diva, the muse and the queen bee but all those titles are just temporary. And yourself? Your identity, your talents and personality and most especially your pure heart will always be there and no one can take that away from you. Because I am unique, we are all unique. No one can tell me I am ugly, if they ignore me then so what? It’s not my loss. I can be me without them. I can do what I love without them. I recognized that if I find myself first, if I love myself even more and get to know myself more, then I would be complete and the opinion of others won’t matter.

I am not yet complete, I am still insecure but I am a work in progress. And somehow, someday I know I can do it and I can be me, I can be happy and finally I can feel pretty without denying me.

It’s your turn now. Good luck my friend in finding your inner beauty. Adiós!