Your cause is waiting for you

If you checked out my brief Medium bio, or spent any time with my web presence elsewhere, you’d figure out pretty fast that there are some topics for which I’m both an ally and an advocate.

But in an age when labels are readily available, and sometimes too loosely tossed about, what does that mean?

An ally is one who recognizes value in someone else’s cause and then supports that person, as well as the cause. What we’re talking about here is mindset. We’re talking about a connection based on common purpose.

At whatever point you feel called to action, to take on this cause as your own, and if you begin to write or speak or share in an outward effort to call others to action for the cause, you’ve become an advocate. …


One woman’s journey through work

I think a lot about work. About my job. What it looks like, what it expects of me, what it says about me. About my journey, and the things it teaches me.

Nine years ago I left an awful marriage and stay-at-home motherhood to re-enter the workforce full-time. My first job back then was with a small-town publishing company. It made for a comfortable return, because of the years I’d been freelance writing, copy editing, and blog building alongside raising my two kids.

Image Credit: Negative Space from Pexels

That job and its people gave me a taste of the grounding any divorced mom needs when she’s finding her way, creating a brand-new life. Routine. Steady income. …


Apparently there’s a new brand of transphobia we need to discuss

Twitter user EmmyJewel is not someone I know, but I’d sure like to address a tweet of hers that made its way through my Facebook feed this morning.

Im adding myself to the growing list of women who are revealing being a tomboy as a child, and a feminine straight woman today. To think that my former 10 year old self would today be labelled as a trans child is terrifying. Leave kids alone. — @Emmyjewel

She uses three mere sentences to twist transgender reality, borrow sympathy for what her childhood (GASP!) …


Why knowing others’ account settings is crucial to your security

For every woman who’s vocal about being an abuse survivor, there’s another who won’t share her story. She may choose total silence as means for self-preservation. She may avoid attention while healing, as that’s hard enough without an audience. She may even withdraw from any traceable web presence at all, since her former abuser could be out there somewhere, too, waiting, watching, scheming.

But with as much thought as we put into our own content and privacy, how well do we understand others’ security measures?

Nothing brings this to point better than an exchange I recently had with a follower of my public Facebook page, Breaking the Silence for Women, which is a platform of education and empowerment for survivors of domestic abuse. The follower had commented on a topical post, giving some detail of her related personal experience, and was replied to by a male follower. Caught off guard, she private messaged me, saying, “How is this possible? I thought this was a group for women.” …


Why serial relationships aren’t healthy for women

A former colleague of mine — let’s call her Mindy — and I talked a lot about dating. She’s been married twice and has experienced abuse, but also has enough self-awareness to see that she’s always jumped from relationship to relationship. That awareness hasn’t been enough, though. Mindy’s problem is that she’s never given herself a chance to manifest anything different.

Let’s dig deeper.

After she left her second husband but before the divorce was final, she reconnected with an old classmate. Almost immediately they claimed couple status and moved in together. …


Caution in a world of online connection

If you’re single and dating, you understand the challenges that come with getting to know someone, and that whether or not you’re compatible isn’t the only question. It’s also important to ask, what are his motivations? How authentic is his representation of self? How guarded do I need to be?

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What’s on the other side of those messages?

The answers can be hard enough to figure out IRL, let alone through the filters and limits of dating sites or social media DMs. …

About

Janna Leadbetter

I’m a cishet writer | advocate and guide for abused women | student of psychological disorder | LGBTQIA parent and ally with a lot to say. | womandetermined.com

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