Toxic Relationships And How To Move On

Just as you detox your body to be healthy and clean you have to detox your life as well. Sometimes our relationships cause us more harm than good. It is possible to love someone and not be able to have them in our life. Whether it’s romantic or a friendship and in some cases close family members.

It hurts a lot and much of the time people may not understand. Negativity can stress you out so much that it actually makes you feel sick. I faced this myself with my own mother.

The women in my family have been plagued with depression and addiction issues. My mother has probably been bipolar my entire life but I never really noticed until she was older. The highs and lows were so intense and when she got older there was a lot of bitterness mixed in. It came to the point that our conversations were so stressful they actually left me in tears and depressed myself. A relationship is toxic in how it affects our life.

It was a hard decision but I just couldn’t do it anymore and this is what gives us the hardest time. When you have been through so much with someone it seems impossible to just divorce them from your life. However, there comes a time for all of us when we have to decide what is best for us and our own well-being. Here are a few signs that someone is toxic to your life.

Signs You Have A Toxic Relationship


When you love someone you may not support all their decisions in life but loving comes with a level of empathy and understanding. Are the people in your relationships constantly judging you? What you need to understand is it is your life and no one has the right to force their value on your life. When someone constantly judges you it erases the safety you feel in said relationship.


Putting someone down is something people do to make themselves feel better and it reveals a lack of respect and also it is Emotional Abuse. If you love someone you would never want them to feel bad about themselves and someone who loves you thinks of your happiness first, not their own.

The Takers

We have all had relationships like this. Where we give and give and it feels so one-sided. Relationships are give and take. Compromise is the secret sauce. If you are always the one making the effort it is an obvious sign that they’re not in it as much as you are and that won’t change.

Growing Apart

I have found this especially true in friendships. People grow or don’t grow. Sometimes you have grown and your friends haven’t. When needs and people change it is inevitable they will approach different things in life. It doesn’t denote your friendship. Accepting that it no longer fits is completely natural and can be sad and is also toxic in how it affects our growth.

Walking Away

Purging toxic relationships isn’t easy. When you love someone it is hard to just walk away. The thing to always think about is, What do they bring to your life? Does their presence in your life only bring stress and negativity?

There is conflict in every relationship but sometimes it can’t be resolved. I decided years ago to eliminate all of the negativity in my life and that included people. If it drains you emotionally and is mostly stressful it just doesn’t work. Abuse of any kind is never ok.

Loving someone doesn’t always mean you can be together. There are some that you can distance yourself from and not be an active participant. Cleansing also involves being truly honest about your feelings. Tell the person why you feel like you do. Give them the opportunity to make changes. Accept that it may not happen and walking away may be your only option.

Ultimately, you must do what is right for you and what brings you peace. The people in your life should be a soft place to fall, where you feel safe. It’s important to remember that you can’t change people only they can do that.


Originally published at on October 1, 2016.

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