Measuring Programming Language Insanity
I saw a tweet yesterday that someone from the UK ran the Perl interpreter against a SSL certificate:
Since I'm bored out of my mind during this holiday season, I thought it might be fun to run all the programming language compilers/interpreters on my Mac to a self-signed SSL certificate with a real CA cert bundle chained to the end. Here’s what I found, in order of insanity:
Stops right at the beginning, and not just tells me there’s an error, it even tells me what it was expecting. This is truly professional. Very impressive.
Clang and Clang++
Not as pretty, but pretty damn good error messages too. Good job.
Python is such a clean language, even its syntax error is a minimalist language designer’s dream, though it wouldn't hurt if I could know what the parser was expecting. In case you were wondering, Python 2's output is exactly the same.
Not bad either for a language where everything is a string.
We are starting to get into the insane asylum here. The first + is making Ruby going a little haywire.
Alright I get it Node! You need to wrap every module in some mysterious “tion” function and it takes a couple of steps for you to get from the CLI to the _compile method. Now get out of my error message.
Lazy much PHP?
Shit what did I just do?
Ok Scala, you are drunk. Go home.
There is nothing scarier than a persistent madman refusing to give up. Someone call 911 please, I’m afraid Perl has a violent tendency to throw garbage at people’s faces.
Thank you for reading this far. Just a reminder, this blog post measured and compared nothing of scientific importance. In fact, it didn’t even compared every language on equal footing.